Navigating the Love Maze: The Art of Dating and Travel with Leah 'LA in Flight'

Join us in a rip-roaring episode filled with laughter, life hacks, and love stories as we traverse the thrilling world of dating and travel with our guest, Leah LA in Flight, the co-creator of Ticket to Anywhere podcast. Armed with a suitcase full of stories, Leah, the poster child of slow travel, gives us the lowdown on the art of savoring each moment of travel, creating compelling dating profiles, and dating safely in foreign lands. Hold onto your hats as we go unravel the exciting potential of dating apps, the importance of FaceTime verification, and the art of making first dates unforgettable, all under the cloak of an exciting journey.

Have you ever thought of your date as an interview, perhaps a prelude to a long-lasting relationship? We get edgy, discussing the rather contentious topic of dating multiple individuals simultaneously, alongside the ups and downs of using dating apps like Bumble and Hinge. Watch sparks fly as we throw light on the fascinating world of dating abroad, complete with cultural niches, language barriers, and those alluring accents. If you've ever wondered about setting up an attractive dating profile or the dynamics of setting firm boundaries, this episode has got you covered.

Strap in, as we dive into the heart of experiences, recounting tales of our most unforgettable dates and sharing real-life anecdotes. Leah imparts her wisdom on dating safety, reminding us of the importance of sharing locations and having an escape plan, all the while keeping the laughter alive. We wrap it up with reflections on gratitude, travel tips, and cultural norms around dating. Tune in for a lively discussion that’s equal parts fun, informative, and inspiring, as we navigate the high seas of love and travel.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Hello everyone, welcome back to our podcast. I am super, super excited about today's show, but let me tell you who I am. This is Hughes of Africa. We offer group trips. We will be going to Ghana in December, so check us out. That's a nine day trip. We want you to come. We already have over 20 people signed up and we're welcoming more people. We also do our day trips to Rosarito, mexico. That is lobster lunch, horseback riding, poppies and beers, so we have a good time there.

Speaker 1: 0:34

And then, lastly, our books. We have books just published, a book called Hughes of HBCU. So if you ever went to an HBCU or you're part of the Divine Knot, you will enjoy this particular book. And we also have Hughes of Africa, which is our travel coloring activity with all of Africa, where you can learn, you can color, and it is such an awesome book. So now that we got that out the way, we're going to go ahead and do our topic for the day, and we are talking about dating abroad, dating apps. It's going to be such a fun time. I have Leah with me and so, leah, I'm going to hand it over to you so you can introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about who you are, sure.

Speaker 2: 1:16

Thanks so much, Tiffany. Well, first off, congrats on all the day tours and the group tours. That's so exciting. I remember when I first met you you had the books already, so it's great to see your evolution. And then congrats on the podcast. I'm so excited to be here.

Speaker 2: 1:31

Wow, we met a little while ago. But yeah, my name is Leah LA in Flight, also known as LA in Flight. I am cohost, co creator of Ticket to Anywhere podcast. It's a podcast on travel essentials and in addition to that, I am a self proclaimed slow traveler, bougie backpacker and I create content for travel brands working remotely all over the world. So really excited to be here. And I didn't realize how much experience I have with using dating apps abroad, because I don't actually like try to, but then again I'm like I've used them quite a bit.

Speaker 1: 2:06

Right Before we even go to the dating apps. You mentioned slow travel, so for those people don't know what that is, explain to me what slow travel means.

Speaker 2: 2:16

It's a very new term and I think it varies from person to person and I think you would appreciate how I define it. But slow travel to me is really doing all the things and taking time to do all the things. I have no shame in being called a tourist or traveler. I know people will stigmatize and shame that, but literally that's what we are when we go to other places. If you don't have a home base, you are a tourist or traveler.

Speaker 2: 2:43

But in addition to that, I also really truly deeply try to connect with the local community as much as I can find those hidden gems, do things that only the locals are doing, really talk to them and get all of their recommendations. And in order to do that I have to add extra time to my trip and I know that's not possible for every person. So there are ways you can do it in a compact amount of time. But because I have a more flexible schedule, I definitely try to add time to my trip just to relax in a way that the locals do, to try to visit the places that the locals visit and frequent and just take my travels a little bit slower, a little bit longer than rushing through four cities in a week.

Speaker 1: 3:26

Right, I totally agree with you. I'm about the slow travel life as well, simply because, although you know, like you say, going to multiple cities or seeing different things, but honestly, when you're able to just kind of sit and relax and take everything in, I think the trip is much more enjoyable.

Speaker 2: 3:45

Yeah, and for me.

Speaker 1: 3:46

I want to live where the locals live because, first of all, the locals going to tell you about the good spot seat and it's going to be inexpensive, right.

Speaker 2: 3:55

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 3:56

And you just kind of get to see how they do things. So I'm a little bit of both. I'm going to go to the toursy side but I'm like, okay, where are the locals dancing at tonight? Where?

Speaker 2: 4:05

they eat at tonight? Where are?

Speaker 1: 4:06

they friends.

Speaker 2: 4:07

Yeah. So I think a good example of slow practicing, slow travel is say you only have a week to take a vacation, to maybe say it's like Italy. And I know people that have literally tried to pack four cities in a week in a place like Italy or Spain instead of four. Cut it down to two and spend more time in each place. Because I value personally, I value longevity in a place versus how many countries have you ticked off, how many cities can you smash into a month? And although I know how many countries I visited, it's not something that I like push out there, because I visited 26. To a person who is a season traveler, I am also a season traveler. It doesn't sound like a lot of countries, right, but people don't know. I lived in Australia for a year. I backpacked South America for a year. I spent a month in the Philippines. I've spent, you know, three weeks at a time in London alone.

Speaker 1: 5:03

So those are my examples and this is why I do not count like people, like how many I'm like I don't know, like don't ask me that, like I don't know, how many I've been to. I know some people that are like gotta really count them off. And, like you said, if they're counting off, how long did they even stay there?

Speaker 1: 5:18

Because if I stay there for a day or two. I can technically count that I've been there, right, right. How much experience are you going to be able to tell the other person, okay, this is what you do, this is what you do, but you won't even be there for a day. You really can't get that much in. And when you talk about one of four countries, how much time are you spending actually traveling on the road, versus if you could, if you were there? So that is super exciting. That you have spent like a year in a place, or several months in a place like. For me, that's like super ideal. One day I'm going to get there. The most place, most time I spent, is two months, and I was in Ghana. That's.

Speaker 2: 5:53

I was just going to say that's such a long time. So interested in that, because I'm like you really, even though maybe you didn't, you know, integrate yourself as fully as you could have if you were there for five years. You were definitely starting to, you know. You knew you had two months to be like. Let me just relax, let me unpack, let me, you know, plan all the things I can do in two months. It's so much, right.

Speaker 1: 6:15

And we. And that was the second time I had been there. First time I was there for six weeks. So if you kind of add them up, oh yeah that's tons of time.

Speaker 2: 6:21

Even if going to a first place for two weeks, that it, or for six weeks. I'm sorry that is such a great long time and I'm like I'm proud of people that can do that. But I know it's tough to talk about it because it's not always possible for everybody.

Speaker 1: 6:34

Right and true enough. The six weeks was while I was in college.

Speaker 2: 6:37

So I think you have a little bit more flexible.

Speaker 1: 6:40

But now we are moving, If you don't mind me asking. You say your schedule is flexible. So what do you do to get that, to have so much flexibility where you can do this little travel?

Speaker 2: 6:49

Yep, I'm a freelance event manager by trade and these days I'm definitely working more on the podcast and my own brand, LA in flight. So, even though I'm an event manager because most people expect to be, expect those to be on the ground and they are sometimes but I can do the work remotely and then when it comes time from the event or when I need to be there, I'll just fly to wherever I need to be.

Speaker 1: 7:12

But you know, with events.

Speaker 2: 7:13

I can usually find out when they are months, months in advance, so I can just plan my schedule around that, okay.

Speaker 1: 7:20

So that's, that's it. It was funny. I just had a book. So this is random. I had a book signing and I was like, oh my God, I forgot how much stress it goes into planning events. It turned out okay. The book, the book signing is good.

Speaker 1: 7:35

But it was definitely stressful for this. So my head's off for planning events virtually and then flying in. I know that's kind of a lot, so I say go for it, but that's exciting that you have this flexible schedule. So let's get into our topic that we are going to talk about. So the reason why I invited Lee on, because she's posting her stories. I think I'm on her, I think I'm on your private list, because I need to oh heck, yeah, thank you.

Speaker 1: 7:59

So she's like hey, if you want to be on the private list, let me know so that we get the juicy details. So let me know. Let's just talk about. So people are apprehensive about apps, right, because there's a lot when you say the word dating apps, a bunch of words kind of like pop out. So actually tell me what were your first thoughts on using dating apps In prior to that? Were you just doing things natural?

Speaker 2: 8:26

Right. Honestly, I've been using dating apps for like it's almost a decade on and off to be on it, so I was really resistant to using them. I lived in Vegas for three years, from 2013, 2014, 2015, all three years and for the first year I was really apprehensive, even though I was putting myself in a lot of very social situations. So then I decided to get on the apps and then I started dating. You know, I dated a couple guys for a certain amount of time you know, not at the same time, but one after the other and I was like, oh, this is kind of working for me, like I like the fact that you can clearly state what you want, although these days a lot of people are talking about that's not truthful. You know, this is a lie.

Speaker 2: 9:13

People, guys will kind of so I date, I date guys. They will, you know, say things to make you believe one thing or another. So it's really hard to set things out, and people can do this in person too. I think every lesson that I've learned and taken it taken away from dating online, you can also always apply to real life. So there was a tension for a year, but after that, yeah.

Speaker 1: 9:37

I was gonna say, like it is true, I think people think that just because I meet a person at a gas station, that they can do the same thing that they would do online, which is very interesting for me, right.

Speaker 2: 9:46

Right, especially in this world of tech nowadays, like there's cameras everywhere, there's information everywhere, google's too smart. Like there's everything, every digital footprint, it's everywhere Right.

Speaker 1: 9:58

Exactly, but you mentioned something about you said that you are not dating multiple people. So let's, let's circle back.

Speaker 2: 10:06

At that time, at that time.

Speaker 1: 10:09

I was about to say so what do you think about people? Because people always say, well, I can't date most people, I don't like it, I don't want to do it. Yeah, there's some people that like know I'm off for so which one are you Do you? Do you suggest dating multiple people until you find that person, or are you like one at a time? Like I can only date, right, right.

Speaker 2: 10:32

I understand the people that are like one at a time, because my energy is limited and a lot of times it's it's more of the mental and emotional energy and then pure time. Some people are very, very. They have a packed, really packed life to the point where they can't dedicate time to dating. And you have to, I think, in order to be successful. I'm not a dating coach by any means. This is just tons of a few years of experience. But in order to be successful, you have to put time into anything. Right, that includes dating relationships. It's the same as, like friendships and personal relationships, right.

Speaker 2: 11:04

But I do recommend dating multiple people at a time, especially in the early stages, because all you're getting to do is getting to. All you're doing is getting to learn about that person, getting to know that person. You're not signing a marriage contract or marriage certificate in the first week of meeting or even talking online. So I think, until things are made official, then, yes, absolutely date multiple people. And that's what I meant by when I was dating in Vegas. Until things were official with a guy, I was going on different dates, meeting different people. Right, because a lot of them didn't go to a couple of times I can date. I'll be honest, you know Right.

Speaker 1: 11:43

Right, I was, yes, I was going to say sometimes, when you put your eggs in one basket, like you said, what if it doesn't work in that dating state, because there's always potential with people. But, like you said, is it going past the second or the third day? Are we going to be compatible? We don't really know. So, like I can definitely agree with that aspect of it, wait, but let's, there's this conversation that's been coming up about first dates, because you said your dates, some of them haven't gone past the first date. Right, the dates are they?

Speaker 1: 12:15

Because there's this whole controversy, like it's okay for a coffee day, right, right For an ice cream day. So what is your opinion on those particular things? For a first date, right Sure.

Speaker 2: 12:26

Actually one of my favorite dates ever in Vegas. It didn't work out with this guy. We went on like two dates, I think, but our his first day. I think I met him out in the wild. Actually, I don't think I met him on an app, but he said hey, do you want to do brunch on Saturday morning at 11 am? I was like this is great, because then I have the rest of the day to do whatever I wanted after brunch. So my process now, yeah, I mean I used to be when I didn't know much. I used to like he's got to take me out to like a fancy, expensive dinner and I've sat through quite a few horrible dinners where the conversation is dry, we weren't vibing, I knew that we would never date and then you're stuck there. So what I do is I always do a FaceTime verification for cat any cat fishing and I tell them that straight up I'm like luckily I've never been cat fished, but I'm like, nah, facetime always.

Speaker 1: 13:19

And you're lucky. Then if you've never been cat fished, remember catfish, remember the show.

Speaker 2: 13:24

Oh, it's still going, I think. I think there's still people cat fishing. It's so funny because it's like it's so easy to find out if people are cat fishing nowadays. So, so, so easy. There's like websites where you can verify and then even like image search. You know.

Speaker 2: 13:41

But my process now? Yeah, definitely FaceTime check and then, if that goes well which, to be honest, most of the FaceTime checks have gone pretty well will either progress to like the first date or they'll be like I'm not interested and be like that's fine, like I either didn't feel anything either or I would be bummed, right. Um, but if the FaceTime is good, I've had FaceTime's tip that have lasted two hours and it was supposed to be a 10 minute check and I'm like, oh dang, we vibe already. Okay, cool. So that was when that had progressed to like a dinner date. But I know a lot of guys were like, oh, let's do like a coffee date first and I'm like, well, we can just do a FaceTime date and then neither of us will have to like leave the house, you know right.

Speaker 1: 14:25

Right. Actually, that may be kind of a smart idea, like because you know what? I've heard Leah, a bunch of people I'm in these groups where it's like are we dating the same guy? And some of them. I've talked about being stood up sometimes. I feel like they'll go get ready for a day at the bar, whatever case, and the guy just doesn't show up. That's horrible, yes.

Speaker 1: 14:47

And I was like what is going on? Somebody said there almost is almost like a trend going on for them to do this to women and I was, like what is the purpose of that? Like the dating world is like absolutely crazy. Yeah, it's a little wild.

Speaker 2: 14:59

Why even?

Speaker 1: 15:00

why you didn't say you want like you don't have like. Sometimes I feel like you go waste the energy right Exactly. I was like some people just like to talk instead of saying no, I'm not interested or no, I can't go. I was like very weird, like I understand. So to that point, with that happening, so I don't have to get dressed up or anything, and I feel like the guy I guess you can put in your makeup for face time.

Speaker 1: 15:21

But yeah, yeah at least you get to see me in my natural state, because then you can appreciate when I get all dolled up and dressed up. Did you date during COVID?

Speaker 2: 15:29

No, I wasn't Okay, I was dating. I was still dating during COVID and the first step was all I think that's what it was born out of. The first step was always a face time during, during, you know, the pandemic, and so now I've just kind of carried that on. I was like, well, no, actually that's kind of just a great way to like check. Are you like real? You know Exactly, Thank you?

Speaker 1: 15:52

No, I think, no, actually I think that's a good idea. So, yeah, so take that, let's take that. If you ain't taking nothing else, let's take that tip of actually trying that first Now some people may have a feeling because, again, just how you thought before about the extravagant days, people may still think like that, you know what I'm saying yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 16:08

So it just depends, of course, of your preference, but if you're already dating online, this is almost, like you said, an extension of it, and then we can kind of carry on from there. So I actually think that's a pretty good idea, or tools to take away or put in your toolbox.

Speaker 2: 16:21

You know, I think a lot of it, a lot of it, like I'm listening to our conversation right now. It reminds me of, like a job interview. You would never stand up a job interviewer, right, you would never. Just like, well, you shouldn't ghost them. You would never just like, not show up to an interview. And then you would also never, if you just like, ooh, one person wants to interview, drop every other interview, right, you wouldn't. You'd be multiplying, you'd be still talking to multiple people If you're looking for a job, and then yeah, and then also in the job interview process, you always do a zoom or video call first, right, and then you meet in person. I'm like this is literally like it's interviewing. It's interviewing for a life partner or whatever you want, a temporary boyfriend, whatever you want.

Speaker 1: 17:02

You know, it is true that that is definitely something, that that's a different perspective of looking at it, but it is true, because when you're a job hunting, yeah, how many interviews are you accepting? Because you want to see who gives you the best offer, 100%, who was paying the most amount of money with the most amount of benefits with the first. So, yes, don't sit on the first one. Y'all, that's the thing. Y'all can play with your little nuggets. Don't settle on the first one Because you never know. Honestly, you never know what's out there, right?

Speaker 2: 17:32

Right, right.

Speaker 1: 17:33

One of they seem great and, amy, you're like, oh my God, he's actually. You know, we're getting a little better, so I think that's a good idea.

Speaker 2: 17:39

All right.

Speaker 1: 17:40

So let's talk about what actual dating apps have you yet?

Speaker 2: 17:43

Yeah, yeah, so when I lived in Australia, I lived in Melbourne, australia, for a year, about 2017 to 2018. I was on Bumble and I was on Bumble already and it was all right back then. Bumble has shifted a lot. It's more of, I feel, like a catalog of ego boosts and no one ever actually starts conversations on it. That's just my personal experience. But I noticed in the middle of when I get like, when I was there, I started I downloaded Hinge to see if it worked, because I had Hinge back home in the US and it worked. I was like, oh, they have Hinge here now too, but it was still really new in Australia. So it's kind of cool.

Speaker 2: 18:23

I got like the first cream of the crop, I guess, if you will. So I was using both and I did find dates off of both, I think, more so Bumble because there were more people on Bumble, but keep in mind this was like 2017, 2018. So it was quite a while ago at this point and those were the only two. I found that before that. Those were the only two that I really had liked consistently. I was on Tinder when I lived in Vegas, when I first started dating using the apps, but Tinder, just it got really for me.

Speaker 1: 18:59

Yeah, I was like they always say Tinder is like the hook up. Do you feel that?

Speaker 2: 19:03

to be true. You know what, actually, when I lived in Vegas, I was in like two long, like longer term relationships off of Tinder.

Speaker 2: 19:12

So it was okay back then, but then I just felt like it started getting really convoluted. And with any dating app nowadays, I think you just specify you got to specify what you're looking for and stick to your boundaries. That's what I feel that you have to do throughout the whole process Be specific of what you're looking for, make sure you know what you're looking for, define that right, make that clear to others and then stick to your boundaries and your gut always. So yeah, hinge and Bumble in Australia. I dated quite a few guys off of them and it was really fun Like just even seeing like cultural differences. Australia was really cool. I even dated a Scottish guy there, which was funny.

Speaker 1: 19:51

Are you into accents, Lea?

Speaker 2: 19:54

I do love an accent. Yeah, I do, I'm an accent.

Speaker 1: 19:57

You just talk to me. Sweet, I'm excited. Yeah, scottish accent I'm not going to lie.

Speaker 2: 20:04

It was so hard to understand Because I would just look at him and be like can you repeat that? I felt so silly. I was like can you repeat that? I'm so sorry, I can't. It's hard, the Scottish accent is hard for me. He was fun, but I was just like I don't know, Like there were other personal problems that I was just like, nah, okay, we don't have to continue, because I think I dated this one Scottish guy. I dated a couple Australians and the Scottish guy, but that Scottish guy he was like towards. I was like, well, this is not going to go anywhere. I had an expiration date, like I was leaving Australia on a certain date, but I was like, if I'm not going to go anywhere, I don't want to spend time with you and not my friends.

Speaker 1: 20:45

So I broke it off.

Speaker 2: 20:46

I was like no, I don't want to see you anymore.

Speaker 1: 20:49

And you had. That's the important thing you have to know when to cut stuff off. I think a lot of times we don't want to certain things yeah. The thing was you knew that you were leaving, so it's kind of easier to kind of be like okay it was easier, but, at the same time, like I liked a lot of these guys.

Speaker 2: 21:03

I was dating, but they were all and this is the hard part you know dating apps, dating abroad. They knew I was leaving. They're like. They were like why would I want to invest in you if you know you're leaving? You're flying out March 12th, it's January. What are we going to do? You know, and it would just break my heart, like cause, if they just wanted something casual hookup, whatnot? I don't, I didn't really want to do that. I wanted the emotion and everything else, you know and sound. Now I'm like, okay, well, now where are we? I don't want to sit here and do casual. You only want to do casual because you know I'm leaving. So I'm like, I guess, in order to further avoid breaking my heart, let's just break it off right now.

Speaker 1: 21:44

Right.

Speaker 2: 21:44

It's always hard.

Speaker 1: 21:46

So which? Which one out of your, out of the three that you mentioned I don't know if you're using anything else currently which one is your favorite or you have most success with? Call him guys. Yeah, okay, you're like hinge hinge, hinge, hinge.

Speaker 2: 22:01

This is the only one I'm using right now. So I got off Tinder years ago and then I got off bumble a couple years ago too, because, like I said, it just felt like bumble. It's too easy. What I love about hinge is that they limit the amount of swipes you can make in or connections you can make in a day, which I kind of like that, because once you've made all your connections, you have to get off the app. There's like it's like there's not. You don't have to, but it's like there's nothing. Okay, well, now I just wait for these guys to start the conversation. I already initiated the conversation. I'll just wait for them to reply. Where's like bumble? You just swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, and I've been caught up in two hours of swiping on bumble before. It's like it's a time waster. And for what? Like half these conversations, most of these conversations never come to fruition. So I like that bumble has a. I mean that hinge has a cap on it.

Speaker 1: 22:51

Right, okay.

Speaker 2: 22:52

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 22:53

So, with that being said, talk to us about how to set up your dating profile. Like what pictures should you use? What pictures should you say? Like what is going to get people's attention?

Speaker 2: 23:06

Right, and this is what this is where I can definitely pull in the stories from my stories from Cape Town, South Africa and Philadelphia as well.

Speaker 2: 23:17

Because for those yeah, because for those two cities I was looking for a date. So I changed my whole profile to make it look like I was looking for, or to not make it look like to to ask for a date. So normally in everyday life, like I love to put a variety of pictures, I actually put more pictures of myself than with other people. I dislike it when guys put a lot of pictures of them with other people, cause I'm like who am I?

Speaker 1: 23:45

Right, exactly who is the person. Yeah, I don't understand. Yeah, yeah, I've done it, and to me.

Speaker 2: 23:50

I'm like it's your profile. Put as many, be put as many pictures as you want of yourself. It's your profile, I don't. I'm like, I'm just gonna be your friend.

Speaker 1: 23:59

So Right.

Speaker 2: 24:00

Right, I know I was like, well, if you're going to put pictures of your friends, I'm just going to look at them and be like, hey, can you put me on, step me up on a date with him? Yeah Right, which one do I want? Yeah, but I put photos right now on my profile. I have photos of me drinking wine in South Africa. I have one of me hang gliding in Brazil. I have one of me presenting at the travel and adventure show in Los Angeles this past February. I have one of me, uh, recording our podcasts, me and Trizzy. I have one of me under the Hollywood sign with a friend, and I think those are all the photos. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 24:33

Yeah, another one of me. Yeah, that shows the different things that you do in your life. You present your podcast and you're traveling your adventures. So I do think that gives kind of a well rounded view of kind of who you are. Yes, and they get to see that automatically.

Speaker 2: 24:47

Yes, and I don't, I don't, I don't know, I don't. I don't like kids in the profile. Not because I don't like kids I love kids, but I'm like, dude, they're a minor.

Speaker 2: 24:55

I'm like blur out their face or something I'm like and a lot of guy, oh man, we get into it, but a lot of people guys will use that as like a tactic to try to get you. They're like oh my gosh, look how good I am with family. I don't want babies. I have nieces and nephews, so that doesn't, that doesn't work on me. For me, I'm just like poor child. Cover up their face. Even my friends that I do have on my profile, who are adults and I've used asked for their permission to use their photos in my profile, I still blur out their faces cause.

Speaker 2: 25:26

I'm like what if you know this? I don't know. I'm like what if you know this person, you start talking to this person and they come back to me with information. I'm like, no, I don't want to.

Speaker 1: 25:33

I think, the basis of it. Who are we dating Exactly? I want to see you as a person not in father mode, not in a friend. I want to see you as a person as a person versus you know all the extra stuff and we, and we are going to get into that, we're going to talk about that.

Speaker 2: 25:50

You know yeah.

Speaker 1: 25:51

Yeah, so I think for the pictures, I think it's safe to say if you only and if you doing different aspects of that.

Speaker 2: 25:58

So I definitely like that A big mix, a big mix of things that's totally fine, like being active, being chill, posed, candid, like a big mix of photos is what we like to see. That's why I'm like all the profiles that just like gym selfies or mirror selfies. I'm like swipe left, left, left, left. Right and then I don't know. I think these people are lying when they're like oh, I don't have any pictures of me. Like someone to literally take a photo of you on the street. I'm like how lazy are you?

Speaker 2: 26:28

that you don't have a photo of yourself since 2015? I don't believe that everyone has a phone with a camera.

Speaker 1: 26:34

We are constantly changing and evolving. So, yeah, I need you to update those pictures. So if they're, I would say a recent picture, like within the last year, yes, Because that shows you know who you are.

Speaker 1: 26:45

Like you said it's, you could either loss way, gain way, got an ax out. No, right, things that could have happened, that we need to know upfront about these specific things. Right, and I'm going to say a full body picture, like, I don't want to just see this one for because angle, I'm good at a good angle. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, I want you to know what you're getting. So how, if we were sitting out taking a picture like this, this would not be a good profile picture, because you can only see this part of me and it's. And the other thing about it is people are proportioned very differently, right? Yeah, so it's not just somebody that their upper body may be very small, right, but then when you get to the bottom, you know you may expand a little bit. Yeah, it's kind of like I need to see the full body because things are misconstrued Face off, I guess, how we're standing. Yeah, let's move on to the. What should we be putting there? Yes, 100%, so that people know what they're getting.

Speaker 2: 27:42

Basically, yeah, so I always, you know, hit. I think I appreciate it and, like the dating apps appreciate it when you fill out every part possible to the profile. So I put you know, do I want kids? Do I have kids? Like no, no, I put, like my hometown where I'm currently residing, kind of relationship. I'm looking for that type of thing. Like I, you know I want to be monogamous. I'm looking for a long-term relationship or a life partner, yeah and uh. Well, actually I don't put my job on there because, girl, I can tell you, let me show the secret for all those ladies, or for all those people out there who don't know how to stock, let me tell you how to stock is literally name, town, school and or school and or job, that's it. If you type in something that will make someone up clean Los Angeles event manager, she will pop up on LinkedIn, I guarantee you. So that's why I'm like I don't think the guys know how to do it as well as the ladies do.

Speaker 2: 28:51

We are so good at it and I just told you all the secret, so fun. But, um, you know, if they're interested, they'll ask me and like, honestly, there's this thing in American culture where all we do is ask about our jobs first, like that defines us and that has been going on for decades. So I try to move away from that when I'm traveling. I try to move away from that when I'm on dating apps too, like we'll get to the job eventually, it's going to be there.

Speaker 1: 29:15

So I was thinking it's a safety issue. Like you said, you don't want to put everything on the internet.

Speaker 2: 29:18

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 29:20

Stuff like that. Yeah, now, like you said, that conversation will come up because we're at our jobs all the time so yeah, I think it's cool to not have it on there as well.

Speaker 2: 29:28

Yeah, I have all the other information you can need on there and really pretty pictures. And then I put like a cool poll on there. I'm like you know, choose what our first date would be. They now have like on hand, they have voice prompts and video prompts. So they'll ask a question like oh, my favorite Sunday brunch is, and then you can answer it with voice or video and I think that definitely adds adds way more personality to the profile, because you can hear their voice.

Speaker 2: 29:54

You can like see what they're like when they're filming themselves. I think it's cool, I think like that.

Speaker 1: 29:59

Yeah, I think that's a cool idea, like you said, because you get to see more of their personality versus just like their photo video. Is that video? You can kind of get more of the personality versus just that picture or whatever.

Speaker 2: 30:12

Okay.

Speaker 1: 30:13

I do and, like each app is very different of what they allow and what they do. So you like, you said you like hinge some of the sender, somebody like Bumble. So you have to really kind of, I guess, play around with the apps to see which one yields the best results. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 30:29

So let's talk a little bit about tell us some of your dating stories. You mentioned Cape Town. You mentioned Cape Town. You mentioned what is funny enough because when I was in Cape Town actually I will, I guess, technically I'm never looking to date, just seem to come, yeah, but there was a one guy that I had met there a long time ago and I had taken a picture with him and we hadn't even done anything Right and I had posted the picture on my Facebook and, I think, tax him and realized that he had untact, and so I was like we didn't know what was like, what was going on. So, of course, coming to find out that he was definitely married, with a whole chat, oh, and I was like, oh, this is why you untact, or something like. Honestly, the picture was just kind of like had his arm around me, but that was not set up right and I didn't know.

Speaker 1: 31:32

So I got that calm that he had a kid and they don't say anything like you know, no, as if they're single or something like that. So I was just like okay, so tell me your story.

Speaker 2: 31:42

Wait, you're gonna love. You're gonna love this. I'm so sorry that happened to you. That is like embarrassing on his part, homie, like please get off the dating apps. But like um, I've learned to ask now. This is how crazy it's gotten online. I ask now are you single?

Speaker 1: 31:59

Right, are you in a?

Speaker 2: 32:00

relationship or are you married and they'll be like you know, whatever the answer is. But now I have to ask because I've had some bad experiences. I'm like are you divorced? Like fully divorced, are the paper signed? And then some will be like, no, I'm separated, and I'm like, nope, that's a hard note for me now. Right, that's a boundary. I don't, because I've dated separated before. I'm like that shit doesn't work out. I'm sorry.

Speaker 1: 32:20

Right. I was like it was funny because somebody just posted. They were at the airport lounge and they were like, yeah, I was flirting with this guy coming to find out he's married. I don't know if the wife was not around at that point. You know what I'm saying. So that's why everybody was like, yeah, you, what did you ask him in the beginning? Because you over here getting excited and here the wife is not too far away and everybody doesn't wear rings either.

Speaker 2: 32:43

I know, I know.

Speaker 1: 32:45

Like how do you know? But, like you said, I think actually the question right out of the gate what is your status? Is there somebody else? Do you have a baby mama? Is there somebody waiting in the wings for you? Like what.

Speaker 2: 32:57

Is someone in a relationship with you. Now you ask that I'm like is someone in a relationship with you that we need to, that we all should discuss, because yeah, right.

Speaker 1: 33:07

And the thing about that I'm glad you said it like that, because the problem is they will play off words, right? If you don't ask something very specific, they're able to get around it. But, like you said, that's a good question. Does somebody think there any relationship with you? Yes, that's a crazy question to ask, right, if they're hesitant about it, if they're like, well, I don't think no, I need a hard no. Yes, like you know, whether or not somebody is, I know, think they're in a relationship with you.

Speaker 2: 33:37

These are the things we got to ask. I also ask if they have kids they do with the relationship I don't know. Lately I'm trying out dating people who don't have kids. At first I was really open to it and I know I understand I'm shrinking the pool for myself. I understand that, but I've had some experiences in the past where I'm just like this doesn't work for no you.

Speaker 1: 33:57

Don't call it shrink ears of calling it exactly what you want. I do not want to date anybody with kids as well, like I know a lot of men have kids, but there are a lot of people, my friends, that don't have kids. Yeah, like they are out there. And if that's not what you want, because we know kids come with an extra layer of.

Speaker 1: 34:18

Especially depending on the age. That may take away time from you. Yeah, we have a good relationship with you know the other parent, that's an issue. So no, stick with what you want. If you don't want to date nobody with kids, that's into the story.

Speaker 2: 34:32

Love it, yes, no, for sure, for sure. And I've even had friends be like I think maybe you should just stop dating guys with kids. I'm like, yeah, that's probably good, so it's good hearing it from other people. They're like, yeah, maybe just try that.

Speaker 1: 34:46

If you've already tried it one way and that didn't work, go ahead and try the different way it's been like a couple times and I'm like, okay, maybe that's a sign.

Speaker 2: 34:54

I was like it's been more than once. I'm like, you know, try it different ways. So, yeah, okay, we're talking about setting up the profile, okay. So when I went to Cape Town, I actually had been off of the apps for like seven months because I was I went through a knee surgery and this was like 2022. So last year, last half last year, I was off the apps. I was going through knee surgeries, recovering.

Speaker 2: 35:16

I flew to Cape Town January 5th when I met all of my remote year folks there. All of them had been on the dating apps, but in Cape Town for the last week. So all you have to do on hinge is change your location to Cape Town and then you start matching with the guys through there. And so the first day we all meet and it was a really women heavy group, women that liked guys, that dated guys. So we went and I was like hearing all their stories in literally the first 12 hours of this meeting and I'm like I got FOMO. I'm like you know what I think I'm gonna get back on it Like some girls literally had dates planned the night we all landed. I'm like y'all are wild. I.

Speaker 1: 36:03

I was gonna say I think you should probably set it like a week or two before you go, so that way you have something. They wasn't playing, they was ready.

Speaker 2: 36:13

They were ready. I'm not even we landed. They checked in there like alright, I'm gonna start getting ready. I'm going out tonight with a guy. I'm like, oh my god.

Speaker 2: 36:20

So because I got on on the first day in Cape Town, it took me, like you know, a week to like build rapport with a guy. So I did go on a date like a week after I got there. But it made it very clear my profile that I was like visiting Cape Town for the month and that I was excited to be here. You know, would love someone to like maybe show me around, whatever the typical like touristy stuff that I see on a profile. And you know a lot of guys were like, oh, you're only here for a month. You know, they're like cool, we can go on a date, but like who knows how long, you know, who knows what will come of that.

Speaker 2: 36:54

So I had, like I had I. I only went on four. This doesn't sound like a lot to me, but I was only there like four, four and a half weeks. I went on four dates in In four, four and a half weeks. All of them were just one-off dates, like they weren't with or they yeah, they were. None of them progressed into like a second date.

Speaker 2: 37:16

I was timing.

Speaker 1: 37:19

And I will say, though sometimes, let's say it's not even a date like romantically, these right, you see the city like a new restaurant, like I think that's what you take out of it as well, even if it doesn't go that way, because, like you said, I'm there vacationing as well, so I do want to see the city. So do you use it in that way as well, if the romantic side of it doesn't work out?

Speaker 2: 37:42

Right, yeah, absolutely, unless we, like literally didn't get along as people.

Speaker 2: 37:49

Right there wasn't a human connection that like we didn't vibe, then I'd be like, no, I'm good. But um, one of my favorite ones was a guy who I was going to watch the sunset on signal hill, which is like a beautiful, beautiful mountain in Cape Town, and I was going with all of my remote year group, but it was a lot of us, like 20 of us, and I was like, oh, I'm planning on going. He's like, oh, well, okay, I can come meet you there. And I'm like, oh, um, well, like, and I told him.

Speaker 2: 38:16

I was like I don't mind breaking away from the group to like have our date so we can like sit and talk and get to know each other, you know. But I was like, oh, like you might you know, because I'm there with the remote, your kids, like you might meet 20 of them. And he's like, yeah, that's fine. I was like that is so cool, because I feel like a lot of people are so intimidated by groups which I get it. It's not like we're going to group date, we're supposed to be one-on-one, but he was so chill with it and I'm like that's so nice.

Speaker 1: 38:42

That also shows that because your personality is outgoing. I don't know if you consider yourself all introvert or half and half, but I like the fact that. Um, because, because I'm a little more introverted, I mean extra right, especially when I go out, the guys that are attracted to me are very quiet and I'm like why do I keep attracting these people? I am like want to go out one thing and I want them to feel comfortable when I'm out, so the fact that he felt comfortable enough to be around, even though, like you said, it wasn't a group date.

Speaker 1: 39:12

I think it's cool if that goes along with your personality.

Speaker 2: 39:15

Yeah, no, I thought, just thought it was so nice because, like, wait, when I'm on a month long trip like that, I want to spend as much time as possible with who I'm with as well, even though I know we're all just discovering Cape Town and I really tried to meet a lot of locals while I was there too. But the purpose you know I'm with a group and that's just me personally, because a lot of people go on group trips and not interact with a group at all. But that's not why I came on a group trip. I came on a group trip to get to know these people. I'm sure I'm going to vibe with one person out of the 37 people who are here. So, and luckily, I ended up vibing with most of them. Yeah right.

Speaker 1: 39:48

Exactly, that's how it is. I did a group trip Long time ago when I told you I went to Six Weeks to Ghana and we were just hanging out together over on Friday in San Diego and I was actually supposed to go paragliding. Um, I was like I had to work up the curse to do it. When I finally said I'm gonna do it, the wind was too low, but I really was.

Speaker 1: 40:11

I really was excited to do but I saw that. To say that that group trip was 16 years ago. Yeah, we didn't see each other all the time, but we're still bonded for forever, so that once or twice a year that we get together. It's like we know, we like okay. Yeah, I remember what you said last time. Okay, now let's move forward. What else is going on? That 100? So Amentary moat year Explained, don't know remote year, what is that? Yeah, really quickly.

Speaker 2: 40:37

Remote year is, um, they provide you work accommodation and like living accommodation and you just come with your remote job or don't come with the job people a lot of people on the one month to Cape Town Trip I was on were like on sabbatical or they were on pto or they were in between jobs. So they just wanted a more, you know, structured environment to hang out with. And it's not to say like they provide Activities for you every single day. You have to do every day activity.

Speaker 2: 41:03

No, that's not how it is. It's maybe like the first three days they're like here are optional activities, you don't have to go to them at all, and like we have limited space anyway. But you know, if you want to meet people, we're creating the environment for you. But yeah, like really what you pay remote year for is your living accommodation and the co-working space and a few activities and the you have access to the community. So it was my first official remote year trip and I had a lot of fun and I stayed in one of the most beautiful spots in cave town and I would so do it again.

Speaker 1: 41:32

Yeah, I have never done a mo year heard about it. I really like the concept though, because sometimes yeah, we can be around other people? Yeah, remote workers or different Yep I definitely wanted.

Speaker 1: 41:46

And that's super, super cool that you did it. So back to the dating. One of the things that you kept mentioning was, like some of the travel was you kept mentioning when you're there for a short amount of time, yeah, or to keep the relationship going. But so have you ever thought extending that and continued dating, even from Um america to where they're at is? What have you thought about doing that, interaction or not?

Speaker 2: 42:10

yet I've kept in touch with some of the guys I've been on dates with, but none of them have been such a strong connection that we're like we should start being in a serious relationship right now. None of them. One of the girls that was dating alongside with me in cape town Um, she's still there because she found a man.

Speaker 2: 42:28

They're still dating and she stayed there. I was like, oh my god, this is amazing. So I love that love story. But, yeah, um, a lot of that may still keep in touch with via social media what's that? But, um, none of them have been like, let's start an international relationship.

Speaker 1: 42:45

So I'm all the dates that you had. Nothing has progressed to super, super or relationships status. But I guess what? What was another best date that you had?

Speaker 2: 42:56

Oh, oh, my gosh. Okay, so it was also in in cape town. Not the sunset guy will call him sunset guy. This guy was botanical gardens guy. Um, I Change.

Speaker 1: 43:08

wait, wait, do you name all of the guys I do.

Speaker 2: 43:13

Guy. He was. He's a ginger, so him I still like keep in touch with all the time. He's so super sweet. But I changed, like the last two weeks is there? I changed my profile. This is what I did in philadelphia. I changed my profile to say that one of the prompts is I'm looking for right. So I put that on my profile I'm looking for and then I filled it out to say a plus one to kirsten boss Summer concert this sunday night. I have the tickets and so that's literally me Looking for a date and so here's the stick.

Speaker 2: 43:48

Yes, exactly, we'll call him s and so as responded, and he was like. I was like it's such a good answer. He's like hey, leah, I'm a great. I'm a great park date. I have a blanket chairs, wine, cheese and crackers everything you can need. I'd love to be your plus one. And I was like, oh my gosh, like we Is going to you, right, I know, so we connected we chatted for For a bit.

Speaker 2: 44:15

We chatted for a while and I was like, oh yeah, he seems super cool through text and, to be honest, um, most of the time not all the time if you're cool and good and communicative through text, that usually translates to real life. So it's like the opposite, where people are like good in person but they're not a great texter. I'm like I can't do that. I need you to be good at all forms of communication. Exactly, I know this sounds like a demand, but I'm like yo, like I'm a big texter and voice notar. I'm like I need all of that from a significant other or from a partner, someone I'm dating. So that was really fun.

Speaker 2: 44:47

We went to kirstenbosch summer concerts. We like we're hanging out on the grass. It was oldies. We took a shot or we took a drink a shot of our drink. Every time we knew a song. So we made like some games out of it, because it was a lot of oldies too. And then it was like it was a lot of American oldies but then like South African oldies that I like had no idea.

Speaker 1: 45:06

But, a lot of it was more popular oldies like witton, houston and the bg's and what I know you, you would right, you would be surprised when you go to international country. They're right, I'm like okay 100, 100 percent. That sounds like a really, really fun day.

Speaker 2: 45:22

It was so fun and it was so like low stress and it was summer in the park, it was beautiful, it was like 7 pm, oh my gosh, it was so beautiful. The tickets were not expensive at all, they were like 10 us dollars apiece. And, um, after that went out, you know, we were like leaving the date. He's like so Do you want to like continue the date and go grab dinner? And I was like um, yes, I know. So we extended the date and then dinner went really, really, really well. So now this uh, five hour date, um ended up being a 17 hour date and I won't go into details, but the date kept extending. After the dinner, the date kept extending the date. Yeah, extended until the next, uh, like mid-morning, basically extended till, extended till smoothies the next morning.

Speaker 1: 46:13

So it was a good day.

Speaker 2: 46:16

It was an amazing day. Yeah, it was like one of the best dates like such a chill guy. You know, we just live in different. We just live in different countries. Who knows what would happen if?

Speaker 1: 46:27

If I live there.

Speaker 2: 46:28

Yeah, and I was like I told them, I was like, oh, I'd always love to like come back. We'll see. But you know, it took me 37 hours to get to Cape Town the first time. It's like right, it's not an easy trek.

Speaker 1: 46:37

Cape Town is the longest plane ride I've ever been on, so I know. Yeah, okay, so really quickly, because I know we have to get off soon. Yeah, tell me your worst date. And then, lastly, let's just talk about, like, what are people, what advice do you just in general? Or like, if people are scared, or what advice Do you give when people are dating abroad, because a lot of people are scared to date abroad.

Speaker 2: 47:02

They don't know. This is good. Yes, I have tips for that also. So so worst date in general actually probably some of my best dates out of Vegas some of my worst dates came out of Vegas I had a guy that started like we're in a dark cocktail bar and he started like Stroking my feet because those wearing sandals and we're just sitting really close to each other and I'm like please, don't touch my feet.

Speaker 1: 47:20

What's?

Speaker 2: 47:20

your feet, guys Maybe, but I'm like, I've known you for an hour. Please do not touch my feet.

Speaker 1: 47:26

Listen, Leah, he must have. You should have been like do you have a feet fetish? Like guys that have beefers, they can't help themselves. I've never had.

Speaker 2: 47:33

I should have been like sir, that's $20 for touching my foot.

Speaker 1: 47:38

I'm like I listen. The only time I really want you to touch my feet is after a good pedigree we're good, we're awkward, nice, but, like you said, a first date no, we don't know each other and I need you to ask me first like Say is it okay if and if you guys I don't know if you guys were drinking or eating, that's what we just had, like a one cocktail. Yeah, okay, this is a restaurant like now. I need your hand. No no.

Speaker 2: 48:03

And then I would say another one Vegas. This was cd, but this was also when I was much younger and I didn't really know what I was doing. Um, a guy, he was like, oh, like, I'm a c ceo at a big company, huge company in san francisco. I'm like, okay, cool. He's like, yeah, let's go out to sushi tomorrow. So we go out to sushi tomorrow or the next day, and, and then we order and I was just like, hmm, like, and I didn't think in my head. I was like you know what, don't order too much lee, in case he doesn't pay. And my gut feeling was right, because at the end of the meal he was like he's like my wallet, my wallet.

Speaker 1: 48:39

I was like what is your wallet? Oh, and this was probably when apple pay was where I'm like you're right, correct, correct. This is a long time ago. He's like I was like you gotta go find your wallet, I was like oh my god.

Speaker 2: 48:57

And then he was like um, can you do mine just like covering it, and then I'll pay you back tomorrow.

Speaker 1: 49:02

And I'm like Okay, and so I did it, because I'm like we can't walk out of here Without paying me, and now you're a little bit older, so you're like I'll pay, oh, and you can figure it out on your own Like, but.

Speaker 2: 49:15

I don't know if you like yet no, I'd be like take out your very mo right now, Venmo, you're right now. Right, you don't have, but you still got the account, exactly. I would be like here, let's just Venmo me before I pay for this. You know, blah, blah, whatever, but that was. And then he's like I promise I'll pay you back tomorrow. It was just weird. He's oh, it was a president's day weekend. He's like it's just a holiday weekend, so my check doesn't hit the bank until after the holiday. And I'm like hold up, big CEO of a big company in San Francisco and of course I didn't know how to stock. Back then, I didn't know how to confirm that back then Big CEO of San Francisco don't have cash to pay $40 for sushi. What Right?

Speaker 1: 49:50

So at first he was lying about the CEO. Oh yeah, and it doesn't matter if you're checked in and here you should have money before your check ran out.

Speaker 2: 49:58

So you're a CEO Right For money up in somewhere. Sell one of your stocks right now, Right Well clearly he wasn't a CEO.

Speaker 1: 50:05

He knows a lot. That was so bad.

Speaker 2: 50:07

I was just I just love the like. Okay. When the bill came like the wait, we're still recording that I'm like this is not real. Right now. I was like is this really happening? Because it never happened to me before and that luckily, that was the only time that had ever, ever, ever happened to this day. But I was just like, damn, I am a fool. I am a fool for this happening.

Speaker 1: 50:28

But at least. Oh, go ahead. And I was like, at least your antennas are your intuition, ladies yeah your intuition At least. Yeah, some thought was like what if he does do this?

Speaker 2: 50:39

Right, Well, and you know, he actually did hit me up like two days later. So we went out on the Sunday night, hit me up on Tuesday. He's like hey, I'm just at the pool at Caesar's, I can give you your cash now if you want to come by. And I straight up deleted him off the app. I'm like no, honey, I'm like not worth the trouble, Not worth See, I don't want to see you again. Yeah, I just unmatched him.

Speaker 1: 50:58

I'm like, well, to be fair, at least he did reach out and did want to give you the money, like, yeah, I think he should have waited until he had money to take you out on the day. He should have waited till Tuesday. But I want to give them, to give them the benefit of the doubt. At least he did follow, because I'm in, will say stuff and then they don't mean it. So I just like what kind of right. But he did try to make his right is wrong, but that's up to you to be like Nope, I'm cool, I'm precious and I'm done so.

Speaker 2: 51:28

I just had. I had, I had a weird feeling about that day and I was uncomfortable the fact that this grown man he was much older than I, was much younger at the time and he was older than me and I was like, how do you not have $3 to pay for this date? And I'm like, hmm, that's us to me. I'm like I'm not going all the way out to the Vegas trip to a pool just to get 40 bucks. I'm like I'm good, I work like it's, I'm yeah. I was like I'm just going to delete the match, and so that was just like I believe it.

Speaker 1: 51:52

I'm glad to hear the good day and the bad day, but this is like what dating is going to be a wave, you're going to have some good, you're going to have some bad, and you just take it all as a 100%.

Speaker 2: 52:02

And then they make for good stories Like listen to us like 10 years later. We're talking about, like you better go find your wallet, and it walked out the door just now Go get, because I ain't washing dishes back.

Speaker 2: 52:15

Yeah, really quickly, I can tell you about the safety. Yes, please, safety is so important. I can't believe we didn't touch on this so time. Okay. For example, 17 hour date in Cape Town right, I had made good friends at that point and even if they weren't good friends, I felt like we had a lot of us women in the Cape Town group had this like bond. That it's like well, women, let's look out for each other, right, I always like love and support that. So whenever people would go on dates, we'd always say like hey, either send us your location or let us know you got there safe, or let us know if you're we had a group chat, right or let us know if you're feeling uncomfortable, anything whatever you need shout out. So before every day I went on, I would send my location to the girls and be like hey, this is where I am and it's on for the next eight hours, just in case you know, the 17 hour date goes fine. And then I remember the 17 hour date. The eight hours ran out, so I just text a few people really quickly. I'm like I'm still, I'm still here, like I'm good, I'll see you in the morning.

Speaker 2: 53:11

But and I share this on my podcast too, tiff is that I I not only text the people I'm with, but like sometimes a location with people back home and tell them where I am, what I do. I basically mix the groups of people that I share things with so that it's not only like just my family that has the info. Cause, like God forbid, this is so morbid. I'm like what if something happens to my family and my friends, don't you know? So I tell like either. So 100% I'll tell like someone I'm with someone I'm close to, two different friends from two different friends group, and then a family member and then maybe a close cousin, literally. I know that sounds so intense, but I do it. I'm like you never know. And then, like this date I thought was only going to be three hours turn out to a 17 eight. So I'm like people are going to be like how'd it go?

Speaker 2: 53:57

So, yeah, exactly, I always share that, what I also. I always share my location, what I also do. So anyone that wants to date me, I screenshot their profile pictures, information like their height, their home, of all those stuff in the profile if they list their jobs, if this is why I screenshot that and I send that to my friends as well, and now that's good.

Speaker 1: 54:20

I thought you took a shot of them in the person and then sent it either way. But either way, like I feel, like that's good. They need to know the information. Lord forbid anything happens. But if they did, at least they have some leads or something to go off.

Speaker 2: 54:35

Yeah, 100% like the information on hinge, like it says literally your star sign, your hometown, your job, your height, your age, I'm like good. So if someone needs to identify you, oh, it's the six foot man who's a tourist and he's from you. Know, he's from San Francisco. Okay, good, like that's a lot of information we can find in his first name is Nate. You know whatever. That's not real public places.

Speaker 1: 55:01

Do you prefer not a safety issue? Always go to the homes.

Speaker 2: 55:05

He let them pick you up. Never let them pick me up, never Actually wait. I say never let them pick me up and I let 17 hour guy pick me up.

Speaker 1: 55:17

Wait, listen, leah. I must admit I it's. I don't have you call this bad or not. I let my guard down a lot more when I'm traveling than if I were back there.

Speaker 1: 55:29

There's no way we went out one night and these guys are like you need to write this in Ghana? Do you need to write him? I'm like sure they took us to the Airbnb. Nothing happened. In Cuba they were. The guy was like, oh, we met about the beach and he was like, oh, there's a place to go hang out. He met us at every. Well, yeah, I'm not telling you how to do this. Yeah, I'm just saying that I don't know if it's the same for you. Sometimes the stuff that I would do somewhere else, I would never do at home.

Speaker 2: 55:52

Right, right, I feel that, yeah, that happens to me too. But I think also with a botanical garden, 17 hour date, he it was logistically easier because I would have had to get myself to Kirsten Bosch gardens, which I knew was going to be a mess because of the concert. But he knows that. He's like oh, I live right here, but he's like you're only 10 minutes away, I can come grab you then and he knows where to park. That's the thing. That's why I was like, oh just, and I had been talking to him for a few days, so I was like I felt safe with him. He put like his full job title and company, so I Googled him and everything. You know what I mean.

Speaker 2: 56:24

Like I'm like he's a real person, he seems nice and then it was great. It's not. You know nothing, everything was fine. But I do not recommend that most of the time. So definitely meet the guy there. I usually, I mean, I try not to go, you know, into a private place, always try to keep it public. Update the people I've told if I can be like hey, it's going well. You know, we've been together the past like four hours, whatnot, and what else. I, yeah, I just try to have an exit plan if possible, if I need to.

Speaker 1: 57:01

Yeah, Exit plan, as in like I'm going to look for the exit door, or as I'm going to have this conversation and be like I got a family emergency has to leave, yeah.

Speaker 2: 57:10

Yeah, or be like I have work early in the morning or I need to go. You know I wake up at five am to go to the gym. It's 10 pm. I got to go. You know, definitely. And yeah, I mean even physical things. Look at the door, like when I have gone to a guy's apartment I'll look at the complex name and the address as well, all of that stuff.

Speaker 1: 57:29

Absolutely yeah. I think those are some great tips for dating. This has been a very fun conversation. It's always fun when we're talking about dating abroad and I love this topic.

Speaker 2: 57:42

Yes, yes.

Speaker 1: 57:43

Thank you, Leah. So much. Any last final words before we get out of here and also tell people where they can find you, at where's your podcast that, and if you have any products or services, let us know where we can find you.

Speaker 2: 57:56

Yeah, I just say like stay safe, trust your gut and have fun with it. Always date. You know multiple people at a time. You're interviewing them right, so it's a lot of fun. Why am?

Speaker 1: 58:09

I titled this podcast job interview.

Speaker 2: 58:13

It's a lot of fun. I've been lucky enough to experience it in different countries and different cities. But yeah, again Leah, also known as LA In Flight, co-host and co-producer of Ticket to Anywhere podcast. We released an episode every other Wednesday. We just dropped one yesterday, beginning of August, for coming back from our summer break. We talked about travel essentials on the podcast. But thank you again for having me on.

Speaker 1: 58:38

All right, thank you so much and we will put all of your information so that people can find you and this was a great conversation that you guys can use for tips. Put that in your toolbox. We dropped some little gems and nuggets here and there while we laughed along the way. So thank you so much for listening and thank you, leah, for coming on to the podcast, and so next time, peace.