Solo Adventure and Healing: Navigating Life, Grief, and Travel with Diamond Crystal

Imagine embarking on a life of solo travel and adventure at the age of 58. That’s exactly what Diamond Crystal did, and she is with us today to share her experiences. A seasoned travel ambassador and global nomad, Diamond's journey took flight with her first solo trip to Belize. She then forayed into full-time house sitting, a decision that led her to incredible places like Ecuador. Diamond enlightens us on not only her travel experiences, but also her strategies for handling fear and planning trips in unfamiliar languages.

Life, however, has a way of throwing the unexpected at us, and Diamond was no exception. She experienced the loss of both her parents within a span of 23 days. In the face of this grief, Diamond found solace in the unlikely place of house and pet sitting. She shares her journey, emphasizing the importance of mental health and self-care. We also dive into the rib-tickling incidents she encountered while house petting, from dealing with two-legged hosts to landing a 35-day penthouse stay in Panama with a fridge devoid of food!

Solo traveling has also opened up unique avenues for Diamond. She offers insight into building community and representation while on the road. Diamond recounts her bond with Stephanie Perry, a kindred spirit she met during her travels. We also talk about her dabbling in international dating - the challenges, the excitement, and the safety measures. As the cherry on top, Diamond, now a virtual assistant, extends her expertise to women interested in house sitting. So buckle up and join us on this exciting journey with Diamond Crystal, as we navigate through the intricacies of solo traveling, healing, and living life on our own terms.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:03

Hi, welcome. My name is Tiffany Her, from Hughes of Africa, and I am excited to have our guests on today, and we're going to be talking about traveling. I never like to use the words traveling at an older age. So, diamond, what would you call it? What would you? What's the word I should use?

Speaker 2: 0:26

Well, first of all, tiffany, thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it. You know your words of inspiration and encouragement around business on Facebook are, just, you know, fabulous. So thank you so much for the opportunity and, since you did ask the question, thank you. We don't use older, we use season, baby, we season.

Speaker 1: 0:46

That's. That's, of course, as we're recording. I forgot the word. So I love when people help me out. So, yes, we're going to talk about about being a season traveler. I feel like it's super, super important to do that, but before we get into the discussion, I'm going to go ahead and let Diamond tell us about who she is before we get into the meat of things.

Speaker 2: 1:10

So, diamond, All right, thanks again. Yes, I am Diamond Crystal. On Facebook, you will find me as Diamond brand new Crystal because I had to recreate my Facebook profile once I lost my iPhone in Mexico about a year ago. So yes, find me on Facebook as Diamond. Crystal and I am a travel ambassador and global nomad for women, black women over 55 who are looking to do international travel and embrace a new life of ease and freedom.

Speaker 1: 1:46

I love that and you know the reason why I love that is because my mom is over 55. She probably wouldn't tell that, but she is, and she will actually be going with me for the first time on an international trip and I'm so excited to have her. Yes, I've been trying to get her to go for forever, so I cannot wait to take her and I honestly really think that is going to be a life changing trip for her. Plug really quickly, you all can join us on that trip to Ghana. We're going to Ghana, west Africa December 28th and we are bringing in the new year in Ghana. But I mentioned that caveat because I almost feel like it's going to literally bring me to tears to have her on this trip with me. It's a difference of me telling you about something and it's a difference of her being able to experience it and as many stories as I tell her once she step foot on ground in Ghana. It's just going to be completely life changing for her and I really believe that. And we still got six months to go. So I am super excited to have you on.

Speaker 1: 2:56

Because we are talking about solo traveling and I want to know when did you start actually solo traveling? At what age did you dive deep into it? Because sometimes people feel like it's too late. Right, you hear that phrase it's too late for me to do this, it's too late for me to do that, and of course it's never too late. But sometimes we are in that mental capacity of thinking that because of a certain age, if we haven't gotten married which we ain't even talking about that or if we haven't gotten a degree, or if we haven't gotten this age seems to be a factor. So when did you start solo?

Speaker 2: 3:32

traveling. Well, I started solo traveling at 58. And I started as part of a wellness sabbatical, so to speak. So I had gone through a divorce and my first solo trip I took myself to Belize for 10 days.

Speaker 2: 3:52

And I'll tell anybody. I chose Belize because it's tropical and you know it was kind of sexy. But the main reason was because I didn't have to learn a new language to go there. So you talked a little bit about fear and trepidation. That was one of those factors that played into my selection in my first solo travel experience. But since then I have been worldwide. Me and Google translate are real good friends Duolingo. So no such thing as too late, too old.

Speaker 2: 4:26

It's just that you got to get that passport and get some stamps in it, so 58.

Speaker 1: 4:32

Exactly exactly. So that's funny because I was just about to mention Google translate. You know our technology is getting better and better. If this was, you know, 10, 15 years ago, I may be scared, but I'm like, go ahead and download Google translate and make sure you download that offline version y'all, because don't get, don't, what was that? Cuba? I was in Cuba and forgot to turn the offline. I don't know if you've been to Cuba, but they internet is wonky, it's crazy. So I wasn't even able to use it, but it surprised me how much Spanish I knew.

Speaker 1: 5:03

But this is, these are the things that we want to break down to let people know that it shouldn't be a fear. You chose that one because of the language thing, but now we're going to get into more. We're going to talk about some other days, destinations you've been to where you don't know the language and you went forward with it. So that's super, super exciting. I have not been to Belize yet, so I'm sure that is. Belize is a wonderful place and it's definitely on my list of places to go. So where else have you been on your solo travels?

Speaker 2: 5:31

All right. So once I got my sea legs, so to speak, with that adventure in Belize, I got very, very serious about doing house sitting full time. So my first adventure was to Ecuador, and that wasn't a house sitting assignment. It was part again of this whole wellness sabbatical that I allowed myself to take. At the time I was gainfully employed. My employer had given me a full 60 days and, you know, on the heels of losing both my parents very unexpectedly, so I needed this time off, and she recognized that. So I went with. You know, all the blessings in the world, 60 days, listen, I could do it. I'll be back in better than ever. Well, girl, day 50 rolled around and I was having anxiety, like I can't come back, I'm not ready to come back, and so at that point I found a long term sit in Mexico, and it's just been rolling fast forward ever since.

Speaker 1: 6:36

Okay, so I? There are a couple of terms that you mentioned that our guests may not even know what they are, so I'm going to have you explain it. One of them is what exactly is a wellness sabbatical? And then the second one what is house sitting? Okay?

Speaker 2: 6:50

So wellness sabbatical. I will describe it in my own terms because I don't think that there's really, you know, a web suit's definition for it. To be honest with you, when I first came across the term sabbatical, it was something I was familiar with from the education field. You know, teachers or clergy people will take a break, a sabbatical, to learn and to delve more into themselves outside of you know their everyday practices, or you know, what they do every day for a living.

Speaker 2: 7:27

They take a break, and so that's what I did. I took a break, but mine was a wellness break. I really needed to do some healing and some introspective kind of work, so that's why I coined it my wellness sabbatical, and again I thought 60 days was more than enough. It had not even begun to scratch the surface.

Speaker 1: 7:47

And so you. So I want to give a shout out to your supervisor because you said that she recognized what you need and she approved. Right, yeah, we in America are almost like in this rat race, right? It's like how long can we work? How long can we not take our two weeks vacation time that we only get? So the fact that she allowed you 60 days to me was a sign that I was and I don't know her person, I see you can correct me, but maybe that she cares for her team, right, in a sense, that she allows you to go for 60 days. Right, we won't even talk, we won't touch on some other stuff, but the point is she allowed you to do that and I wish more supervisors recognized that sometimes we need that break, and maybe in your case you didn't. But another thing is that sometimes, when we take that break, we are ready to come back full first, full force, and be do the things that we need to do, but sometimes we need that break.

Speaker 2: 8:48

Absolutely. I am very grateful that I had a supportive supervisor at that time. You know I was in a very stressful position as a corporate event planner.

Speaker 2: 9:00

So that was you know, dot all the I's, cross all the T's and then do it three full times to make sure nothing falls. And I was starting to drop some balls, which was uncharacteristic for me in my professional capacity. So my boss was like, hey, talk to me, what's going on. And I said to her I'm struggling, and it was those, those two words. I'm struggling, and just I think the transparency that I was able to, you know, bring forth with her and really just tell her what was going on in my life. And she's like, well, how can I support? So, yes, kudos to my ex supervisor, we parted on very good terms. I just I couldn't come back.

Speaker 1: 9:44

I wasn't ready, right. And I think the other important thing is sometimes whether they say close mouth, don't get fed. I think we need to speak up. We may be scared. Oh, I don't know if they're going to prove, but you don't know unless you ask, right. So I think it's very important for us to I don't care if we got to ask draft the letters, send an email. I think it's important to at least bring up the topic and see what they say, because they may just say yes, and so I think that's super, super important. And I think it's important for us to take the time that we need, whether it's a sabbatical vacation, whatever you want to call, like you said.

Speaker 1: 10:19

You coined your own word and then, I think, touching on you also talked about it sounds like grief too because you said you had lost your parents. Yeah, there was a lot of stuff going on, and you mentioned the word healing. I think we don't mention the word healing a lot. I think we often are going through lots of trauma and sometimes we just keep going without actually stopping to kind of tend to hey, what is going on? And if I know what's going on, how can I grieve more properly? A lot of times we don't grieve, we go. How much do you? How much do you? Do you get time off for a death in the family? I don't even know if it's a week at this point. You know what I'm saying and you never really get over, especially close loved ones. You never really get over that. You just kind of learn how to deal with it, you know. And so I think that healing is definitely important. I'm glad you kind of recognize it and said this is what I need.

Speaker 2: 11:14

Yeah, it's a matter of having to be brutally honest with yourself, because you know, if you are a working black woman and you need to support yourself and your and or your family, you are taking into consideration all the things you just said. I only get this much time, I can only afford to be gone this much time, right? So we are not allowing ourselves. The rest, the recuperation, the, the grieving process itself can be so heavy. And so I knew, you know, my mom was my best friend, cancer one which was not a surprise bar, I will tell anybody, barring a miracle from heaven, you know cancer was going to win that battle right, but 23 days after my mom left this world, my father just laid down and died. So it was, it was compound grief and trauma, you know, and I'm still trying to process all this stuff and go to work every day. Right, right, right, it just was so.

Speaker 1: 12:17

Do you think that he pat, do you think it was a broken heart?

Speaker 2: 12:21

you know. That's the only thing that I can attribute it to because, you know, as an older black man, we had, you know, those typical type of health issues, but they were managed high blood pressure, diabetes. It was nothing that was life threatening. So I have to say, yes, you know, and the fact that he said to me I just don't know how to do this anymore.

Speaker 2: 12:42

You know that conversation that we had, and no matter how I, you know, tried to team us up, like, hey, we're going to get through this together. He didn't know how to do it without her at that point.

Speaker 1: 12:54

So you know they had been married for how many years they have been together quite a long time.

Speaker 1: 13:00

They were high, junior, high school sweethearts okay, so, yeah, so when you're so used to somebody being around I've heard that that has happened on many occasions where one goes and then the other one goes soon after. Like you said, they just don't know how to handle it, and then you, as the daughter here, you go right before. You can't even, and again, remember, we never really get over it. But to have to deal with both, that's a lot for sure 23 days was.

Speaker 2: 13:29

It was just too much for me to handle and, like I said, tiffany, you know, I felt like I was superwoman. I could do anything that I needed to do, but I needed to heal.

Speaker 1: 13:40

That was a priority at that point exactly, and I I think, like we I think that's important to talk about black women we take on the world and we think that we can handle the world and to a certain extent maybe we can, but to a certain extent we can right, and I think that's the part that we have to recognize. We have to recognize when we need to just sit down, you need to just go lay down, we need to just go rest, we need to just go take that vacation, and it's okay not to be strong for everybody and everything around you. Sometimes you, you want somebody to take care of stuff for you. You do I get a chance to relax. You know, I don't, I don't want to deal with nothing. Okay, you handle it, you, because honestly, when you say no, you can't do it, I bet you people figure it out yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2: 14:28

And again, you know that was my profession, right. So corporate event planning, you do it all. You're responsible for the success, the failure. You know the entire show belongs to you and is on your shoulders, right. And on top of that, again, I had come out of a long-term marriage where I had a support partner, so now I was navigating life by myself as an older, as a seasoned at the point and you know that wasn't part of the game plan either.

Speaker 2: 15:00

So it was like you juggle, but in the juggling you're doing a good job of it, but that don't mean it's not heavy. Just because you're managing it well does not mean it's not heavy, and when you start to feel the weight of it, you have to give yourself permission to pause whatever that means in your life.

Speaker 1: 15:18

Just pause, exactly so, yeah, we got a little off topic, but I think it's okay that we explore these different topics that were exploring, because it all ties in together. Okay, so talk to us about what exactly is house sitting? People hear the term, but they may not know exactly what it is right?

Speaker 2: 15:41

well, it is exactly what it sounds like. You are sitting in someone's home while they are traveling for whatever reason. Um, nine times out of ten you are not just caring and making sure that the home is lived in and secure on a daily basis. You know the trash etc is taken out, but you are also responsible for the effort babies. So you know, nine times out of ten you have pet responsibilities.

Speaker 2: 16:08

So it should be called house slash pet sitting, because that's what you're doing you are caring for this person's entire home and their pet while they're gone and okay.

Speaker 1: 16:21

So I'm not the biggest pet person, okay. So, as a person like me, should I be signing up for house sitting or is it mainly pets involved, to where I would need to really love pets in order to do the house sitting?

Speaker 2: 16:38

well you know, I would say that you would have to tackle house sitting and pet sitting um very honestly with yourself. If you are not an animal person, this is probably not going to be the best um method for you to use to travel the world. Uh. So be honest with yourself because while there are some house sits that do not require the care of a pet, they are very few and far between. They're like the golden nugget everybody is going for them and you know you probably are not going to have the level of success that you are looking for and what types of animals have you seen with your house sitting?

Speaker 2: 17:16

well, you know I I've seen a whole litany of different types of pets that you can apply for. Personally, I do domestic animals, cats and dogs period okay no reptiles, I don't do bunnies none of that stuff.

Speaker 1: 17:33

Cats, that's it. You're like cats and dogs, that's it. So is there a possibility? Has there been like one for fishes or turtles or any other animals?

Speaker 2: 17:43

oh yeah, absolutely, absolutely, um, you know, but again, they are few and far between right, because most people don't have just fish, unless it's, you know, maybe koi fish or something in the backyard, and then even at that you have to have some level of experience because they're very expensive, uh, fish that you would be caring for, right? So you gotta be honest with yourself can I actually do this and should I be applying for this to be successful?

Speaker 1: 18:10

right, okay, that's good. Um so, technically, I ain't ever did house sitting, but technically, you know, I've had to watch dogs for my aunt. She was like, can you watch the dog? I was like, oh lord, it was like it's a cockers. Well, he passed away now, so that's a cockers manual, so it wasn't too bad. So I was like, okay, maybe I can do this. Um, you know one point he didn't want to go outside, so I called her. I was like, uh, what do I do? I'm like, did I drag? And what can see was just like I ain't leaving okay. Um so, okay, tell me one of your funniest house petting stories or tell me one of the words, whatever you want to tell me.

Speaker 2: 18:50

Okay, um, I I have to tell you that I have really been blessed on this journey. So I don't have I don't have any one particular horror story at all, um, but I will say that sometimes the hosts, the people, the two-legged hosts as opposed to the four-legged hosts are a bit more challenging, right um, so you're going in and I try to do 30 days at a time when I'm by myself so I'm not packing in, unpacking a lot, right?

Speaker 2: 19:20

um, generally, they will ask you you know, what do you like to eat? Can we stop the fridge for you? Can we, you know, leave you a gift card so you know you can go to the local supermarket? Whatever the case may be, just being gracious and courteous, right, I had one host who cleaned out everything, just like nothing was left in the fridge no milk, no, nothing, nothing to eat. First day that you arrived, this was in Panama and as I opened the cabinets, everything was labeled do not touch, do not touch, do not touch, do not touch.

Speaker 2: 19:54

So that kind of left um sour taste pleasant not a pleasant taste in my mouth, right, and I'm gonna be there for 35 days, so the first day I do have to call Uber Eats, whatever, not a problem, but still again unexpected and non-traditional. Um, and and then the pet. I was in a high rise. The pet was an older pet who needed to go out on a more frequent basis than what I had experienced. Um, so those two together made that sit more challenging what was worth it was.

Speaker 2: 20:29

I was in a penthouse in the middle of Panama City, in one of the best areas there, for 35 days, so you know it's a balancing act. You take the good with the bad. Could I have afforded to stay in that building for that amount of time? Um, on my own? Yeah, wouldn't have stretched my budget, yeah, so it was worth it to me exactly so okay, so that's a good point, and so do you?

Speaker 1: 20:54

do they pay you, or are you just receiving the free accommodation?

Speaker 2: 20:59

so it is strictly. If you're using trusted house sitters, I will give you that disclaimer.

Speaker 2: 21:06

If you are using that service, which many of the ladies are, um, then it is strictly an exchange of accommodations for services okay, so you are looking for uh accommodations that you don't have to pay for, then it's a wonderful way for you to save money, stretch your dollars, be able to spend it on what you want to spend it on, as opposed to you know room and board okay, so, and then that's, and that's a good way, so that's a good segue into our solo travel.

Speaker 1: 21:36

Um, so talk about some of the and I hate asking this question, because people ask me this and I never know how to answer it like what has been your favorite solo destination?

Speaker 2: 21:47

that's far well, uh, if anybody has read my blog or follows me on facebook or anything in social media, y'all know that. You know epidore has my heart. It was the first place that I went to. That was my 60 day healing sabbatical. I really got. I started the the important work there and I got what I needed to, um, I say, move forward confidently as a solo traveler. So, uh, it was supposed to be 60 days.

Speaker 1: 22:17

It wound up being 83 days.

Speaker 2: 22:20

Uh, in monta, ecuador, it was oceanfront. I go back and reset my year every year there because I just get what I need there. So while I've been a whole other place, monta Ecuador still has my heart.

Speaker 1: 22:36

And I feel those types of troops I'm pretty sure. And I'm glad to hear Ecuador, because I don't hear a lot of people mention Ecuador and when you talk about wellness and healing, that's not mentioned. So I'm glad that you mentioned that. You hear places like Bali or stuff like that. So I'm glad to hear that there are other countries that provide that healing and stuff for other people as well. And so for a solo travel, what is some advice that you would give to women who are seizing, that have never done it before and want to try now?

Speaker 2: 23:13

My first piece of advice is to put your faith over your ear and move forward. You know you're going to stay in that same level or space of trepidation and anxiety until you actually walk out on faith and do it. So when you said your mother was finally doing her first solo travel experience, trust me, you ain't going to be able to keep up with her when she gets finished with that. It empowers you, particularly if you have not ever traveled outside of a family setting, a couple setting, always being with someone who could kind of help you navigate. It's going to empower you to the point where you start trusting and believing in your instincts. You have to because you have no one else to rely on. So that within itself is empowering. So that's my first piece of advice Put your faith over your fear, get that passport ready and book the trip.

Speaker 1: 24:13

Right, that's, that's what I say. I say we're going to use Nike slogan like just do it Right, I think, because it's easy to talk about it, but until you get up there and do it, then you may not ever do it Right. And is it scary? Absolutely. But do we do stuff when we're scared? Yep, because those things. I want to acknowledge those feelings. It's okay, like you, let's sit in those feelings. But once you sit in those feelings, let's keep it moving. What is the next step that we have to do? Right, like you said, getting that passport. That is like the basic thing that you can get. So go ahead and get that and then go ahead and book that trip. Where are you going? What destination are you going to? And another thing with solo travel, I find a lot of people feel like they're going to be alone. Do you feel like you're alone when you're solo traveling?

Speaker 2: 25:06

Absolutely not, absolutely not. And I will say kudos to each one of the Facebook groups that are out there that create a soft landing and a sense of community. When I arrived in Ecuador just like I said was really my first extended solo trip I didn't arrive alone. The person who picked me up from the airport and drove me to my accommodations was someone I had already been referred to and had spoken to on different occasions, right, so it wasn't like catching Uber and get there the best way. You know how, once I got there, there was a sister girl who was the African American group on Facebook who helped me find my condom. She was there to greet me and then, when I decided that I wanted to be social, that entire community, which was virtual until- I arrived.

Speaker 2: 26:06

they now my family, so I don't feel like I'm ever alone. You can be as alone or as involved with the local communities as you choose to be.

Speaker 1: 26:16

So that's important. Let's talk about the Facebook group. So, if anybody know me, I'm addicted to Facebook, I know and so. But the reason why and it was funny because I was on a call the other night so I was like, yeah, facebook is Tiffany Jam, she always be on air, she has her coming I said absolutely. I said because and it's funny too because when I go to presentations at high schools and junior highs they think Facebook is for open. I say listen, I ain't old, okay, and I still use Facebook, right, and so the reason why I love Facebook is because there are I don't care, there's probably millions of groups on Facebook. You can find a Facebook group for people with left hand. You can find a Facebook group with people that have glasses, so there's a group for anybody and everybody.

Speaker 1: 27:07

And within the travel community, like you said, they have specific groups for African Americans in China, african Americans here, or they'll say black in China or black in here, or whatever the case is. And, like you said, finding those groups and contacting them before you get out there, you've already established some type of relationship, so you don't feel super alone when you arrive and most people want that community while they're there anyway, because sometimes and we could probably get into that conversation too but yeah, we, we, our family is back home, or maybe we don't. So we want a sense of somebody that looks like us, right, and that's why it's important when do we go? So, what was it? Thailand, which is funny, which is we haven't mentioned her yet, but where I met Stephanie at was in Thailand. She was actually taking a sabbatical at that time. So you're like you all like who is Stephanie? So I'll let you mention who Stephanie is, because that kind of started your role. So let's take a little portion to mention who she is, and they will keep going All right?

Speaker 2: 28:17

well, you know, you can't even mention black women house sitting without talking about the goat, which is who is Stephanie Perry. I mean Stephanie, I have put it on her Facebook page and I will say it here representation matters because, before you know, I saw somebody who looked like me doing something that I thought was a majority type of activity, you know, and I also thought it was for young folks who were kind of in between do I want to be an adult or do I want to stay a teenager? I really never saw myself as a global house-seer, so seeing Stephanie Perry make that, show us that through her representation, was very important. So I you know, me and Stephanie we sat at my mom's Kibo sessions every week. You know mom was doing what she needed to do. She's listening to what's gonna. You know, keep her in her zen space while this is going on and I'm like dang, this girl is going everywhere. You got my attention when you said you didn't pay rent for over a year. How you do that, right?

Speaker 1: 29:29

So yeah, yeah, let me know what that is. So when I say yeah, it's a small word, this is what I mean about Facebook and community. I think the same thing happened when I was going me and my cousin were going to Thailand. I reached out and was like hey, does anybody want to meet up? And so Stephanie was one of those ones, like like yeah, let's have dinner. So we had dinner with her, and then we and we're like, oh, we're going to go home.

Speaker 1: 29:53

And somebody, another black guy, rode up on a motorcycle and was like we're yackering. We was like, well, we're going home, we don't know where else to go. And he was like come out with me. So we went to like a karaoke and something. After that.

Speaker 1: 30:04

And you know what, when we were on that trip, he goes, he goes, let me show you something. So we're thinking he's about to show us something, space heckler. And he just takes us outside. He just does like, opens his arms. I'm like, okay, what are we looking at? He was like y'all, we are in Thailand, we are black people in Thailand, blah, blah, blah. Like we're just randomly kind of meeting together. But I'm realizing every time I say random, nothing is ever random. And I say that because Stephanie went on to be my accountability partner, which Diamond didn't know that until a couple of minutes ago. But she became my accountability partner and I saw what she was doing and she was on that sabbatical while she was in Thailand. So when I say six degrees of separation, I set a small world. There you have it.

Speaker 2: 30:49

Yeah, very small world, and I get such satisfaction in meeting women who I've only known through Facebook virtual friends. So when I started house sitting I would put it out there, like I still do. I'm like yo, I'm coming to California who wants to meet up? I'm coming to Seattle who wants to meet up? Cause I started kind of reaching out that way domestically and then when it was time for me to go international, out of the country, those relationships became vitally important to me. Like I said, you need to set yourself up for success wherever you're going. So providing a soft landing is what those groups have done for me and what I try to do for other people through my groups.

Speaker 1: 31:39

Right, so okay, my other question cause you mentioned global nomads. So the question people will always ask are you working? Because we know you get the house sitting for free, but you still gotta pay for other expenses. So are you currently working now or you are no longer?

Speaker 2: 31:54

working yes. So, the answer is yes and no. I retired myself, semi retired, so, god willing, I will be 61 next month, not quite social security age, but I do virtual assistant work. I have two clients that I work on Tuesday, wednesday and Thursday only period in the story Tuesday, wednesday, thursday. I have a long weekend every weekend and I also do consult with women who are looking to start house sitting and do it successfully. So I hope that I help them to build a strategy and for that service there is a fee.

Speaker 1: 32:33

Okay, and then? What is VA? What is VA for those that don't know?

Speaker 2: 32:36

A virtual assistant.

Speaker 1: 32:40

And so do you feel like with your global nomad, or because you learned about house sitting and now you're kind of paying it forward, but, of course, charging for your knowledge. So if people are like, hey, I don't know what to do, what would be your advice for those people that say like I wanna take us a battle or I wanna go off for a year, but some people are just kind of tied to their job. So what would you advise somebody in that case who wants to do what you're doing but just really don't know how to do it?

Speaker 2: 33:10

Well, if you're still gainfully employed, just have the conversation, Find out whether or not remote work is an option for you. While I was employed, I was employed virtually so. Unless it was at the convention center, at the hotel where the actual event was taking place, all of the planning and execution was done virtually I did not have to come into the office. So when COVID hit, I was already used to working from home. Now the question is can you work from home or nationally? That's a conversation that you really need to have with your employer, because if that's not part of the game plan, then your job could be in jeopardy. So my answer would be have the conversation and ask the question.

Speaker 1: 33:58

Right, exactly. So, yeah, no, that's a good point too, because sometimes there's like laws or policy with your job and you being out of the country and different things like that. So, yes, you definitely have to have that conversation to see if it is okay. And then the other thing I would say in terms of just like entrepreneur, different things like that, there are ways to always say that if you know something really well, you can have a job right, and so I feel like sometimes, or even the stuff that we've always wanted to do, if we want to turn some of those passions into entrepreneurship or making money, then that's a possibility as well.

Speaker 1: 34:37

So I'm like sit down, what can you do well, what can you do well from your computer? Or again, what can you do well that can translate into money to fund this lifestyle that you want to do, and that's going long term. But if you just want to take that short term, there may be easier steps to do that right. So I'm glad that you've been able to kind of pivot and again take that knowledge and making sure that you are also helping other people along the way, right? I mean, I think that's important. Somebody helped you, so you want to bring others as well.

Speaker 2: 35:15

No, I was going to say. And then you know I'm a big proponent of if you talk about it, get paid for it. And I know you know what I'm talking about, Tiffany. Because you get paid to travel, you like to travel, you talk about it on Facebook and it puts money in your pocket. So if you're going to spend your time talking about something, find a way to monetize it, because you're doing it anyway. So I say, you know, maybe you should try this particular product, trust and believe if I got a link out there, that link is monetized as an affiliate.

Speaker 2: 35:48

So there are many, many different ways that you can monetize the activities that you're already doing and find new ways, like you said, to monetize your passion.

Speaker 1: 35:58

Absolutely. I mentioned affiliate links. So for people that don't know what affiliate links are, let's say you, let's say I'm just going to use a random example let's say you love Doritos, ok, and you done partnered with the Dorito brand. So now when you post about eating your chips online, you're going to put that referral link. You'll be like buy your chips right here, and every time somebody click on that link and either purchase or click, then you can get money from that. So that is what affiliate links are, and people can put them on their social media, on their blogs, anywhere there's a link to be clicked or you can put that on there. So we're just saying that there are many ways to monetize. Would you say it again? Talk about it on your report, exactly. So let's get back to some of the destinations. So what are your top three destinations that you recommend for solo travelers?

Speaker 2: 36:51

Well, I would say that I can't say top three destinations, because if you have not started yet, then perhaps you want to start domestically. And I say that to anybody you know. You don't have to go outside the country to have a solo travel experience. If you have never been to New York and you always wanted to go to New York, then book a trip to New York and go by yourself. You always want to go to Hollywood. Book that solo trip to Hollywood. Go to California. Get your confidence level up with doing domestic travel. You don't have the um additional challenge of learning a new language right. So you build up your confidence. You trust your instincts. You're empowered to now do this on your own. Then maybe you break out that blue book and get your first stamp. Mexico is a good place to go. Lot of expats, black expats in Mexico. Mexico's a great place to start and give yourself a soft landing and a really great solo experience um, yes, I agree with the domestic travel first.

Speaker 1: 37:59

I feel like sometimes we need to get our feet wet. Now you can't take the bigger leap but, like you said, if you're just starting out, you want to try. We have 50 states and we have most people have not visited off 50 states and there are some beautiful. We have a lot of good places to travel and I know we always think about because I've been like, oh, let me go international. But there's a really good places here. I haven't been like a lot during the Midwest, you know. So I need to go and travel, since I've never been Nebraska, like places like that.

Speaker 1: 38:26

That may not seem exciting, but I know there's some beautiful places in all of those destinations. So I definitely agree with that. And I say, even if you want to start off with, um, so I'm in southern California. So even if I wanted to start off in northern California that's an hour by plane, seven hours by car I can easily get back home or even somewhere uh like, uh close to me, like Santa Barbara, that's two hours away, so you can literally start anywhere. Um, to kind of, you may still be nervous, uh, even if you've done it a couple times, I feel like that's just a way to start, and I even say lower it down to that. Go to the movies by yourself, go out to eat by yourself. Oh, that part that part.

Speaker 2: 39:08

You know, once you have conquered that um societal paradigm that you have to be with someone when you go to a fine dining experience. Once you conquer that by yourself, you know you are impressed to do it with somebody else because you do it when you want to do it how you want to do it where you want to do it right. Exactly empowering part. It's the independence and the freedom that comes with taking yourself out to dinner, taking yourself to that movie, putting your feet up if you want to laugh and out loud when you feel like it nobody's looking at you, like really, was it really that funny?

Speaker 1: 39:45

none of that right, exactly so I I know. Another question that people are going to want to ask is what about dating as a seasoned solo traveler?

Speaker 2: 40:02

what about it, tiffany? What is the question?

Speaker 1: 40:07

the question is, what we all want to know is how does that work? How do you meet people while you're on your solo travels? Do you date? Do you know? Is there a safety factor with that? What do you do in those situations if that's something that you're interested in?

Speaker 2: 40:24

right, right, um, okay. So, to answer the question, yes, I have dated internationally. Um, I dated in Ecuador. I've dated in Mexico, I have dated in Panama. So yes, and, and I think that the same instincts that you use dating in your backyard are simply just amplified when you date internationally. There may be a language barrier, of course, there may be an age difference. I will say, being a seasoned solo traveler who does date, I entertain men who are younger than I am, and it's not taboo at all. Um, so just open your mind to the possibilities, and I like meeting people organically.

Speaker 1: 41:14

I'm not an a dating app person at all okay, that's what I was going to ask you like. Okay, are you meeting them just kind of out and about or, like you said, you see you're no on dating apps, but you'd like to meet more of a genuine connection?

Speaker 2: 41:28

absolutely. I like it to be organic, so you know, I met a man in Ecuador who just happened to come into the clubhouse at the same time. I was there. Boom, um, you know, being an international house sitter, you sometimes you walk a really cute dog. That's a really great way to meet, right, that's a conversation. I'm like thank you, and then the conversation starts organically. Um so, yes, yes, I have found it very easy to date internationally do you find that it's easier today?

Speaker 1: 42:01

international, because you know what they say out here, the term that they use, man there's P in the dating pool. So do you find it easier to date abroad, or you feel like it's kind of the same?

Speaker 2: 42:15

well, that's a difficult question because I was married most of my life, okay, so dating was completely different from me. Um, at 58, then it was at 18, so the whole landscape had changed. Um, but what was your question again?

Speaker 1: 42:37

question uh, now I forgot what the question, I forgot the question, but let me ask you this. You mentioned the, the language barrier while dating. So how does that work? Are we using our handy dandy google translator? How are we kind of combating that language?

Speaker 2: 42:53

uh, between the two well, we're using our handy dandy, um body language, right, because a smile communicates a lot, right, it can be welcoming, or, you know, if you got still with face, that means stay away, I'm not interested. You know, we, we smile with our eyes and so, yeah, that that's how you break the barrier, initially, and then, hopefully, as you're traveling, you picked up a few of the uh, regular greetings you know, so you could say good day or, you know, good evening, that type of thing, and then, yeah, as you get into more um conversation, you probably will need your google translate, and they will as well, um, so it's, it's um, a nice exchange of learning, right, because you learn a couple of words when they're trying to communicate with you, they learn a few words from you, and it's wonderful they.

Speaker 1: 43:48

I was, uh, always an example of my aunt and uncle. They're not ever married anymore, but he did not know Spanish and she did not know English. And I say, well, I guess all they needed was just um, just the love between the two.

Speaker 2: 44:03

I say, kissing, don't need a love, don't need a language right, oh you, just you know you, having a smile does not require you to say anything. It simply says yes, I am receptive right not necessarily a date, but I'm receptive to conversation coming into my space at this point.

Speaker 1: 44:24

So yeah, absolutely, um, but I think that again, I always say, uh, again, I don't necessarily think age matter, but some people do so, some people I literally somebody it and these are young people talking, actually there's not even season people. And somebody was like, well, what if I get to a certain age and nobody wants to date me? Or blah, blah, blah. And I was like, do you know the statistics of season folks getting married at a later age or just dating in general? So I feel like, don't ever let whatever age you are, stop you from getting you a move.

Speaker 2: 45:00

Okay, because they out there out there and I said, you know other embracing for seasoned women. So I have found in Latin American countries that, you know, age does not become a factor. That's something that's really a very American paradigm. Um, that we've fallen, uh, trapped in, trapped to um. So, yeah, yeah, I mean, you know whoever, if you got somebody who uh can hook you up with a referral, you know say, hey, this is a nice person. Y'all have these similar interests. Would you like to meet dinner? Don't cost nobody nothing, go out but dinner, have a glass of wine. If it works, it works.

Speaker 1: 45:42

If it doesn't, hey, maybe you just met a friend yeah, and I and I was like food is cheap cheaper in other places than it is here out here, so you can go get a really nice date in another country. That child, what about? What? About safety, because that's our number one concern. Am I going to be safe while I'm there? So what are some things that you've done to stay safe? Have you ever felt scared in any situation while you've been abroad, or anything like that? Um, give us some safety tips. Yeah, yeah and.

Speaker 2: 46:17

I will tell you that I wrote about safety. I wrote a blog about personal safety in your new environment. If your house sitting, you know um the the tools that you should that I would recommend that you always have with you um as you're traveling, to secure your perimeter, secure your interior. Um, there are certain you know products that I highly recommend that every woman travel with, even if you're going to a hotel by yourself. Um, but dating safety, I think it's just real important that the sister code is intact. Somebody needs to know who you with so they know they will know where to start looking. Where are you going? I need to know where you're going. I need to have an idea of what time you think you're going to be home. Um, this happened to me in Mexico, a very dear sister friend of mine.

Speaker 2: 47:08

We've been on a first date and she ain't tell me nothing and I'm like panicking for her. She's out having the time of her life. But we didn't even get into the sister code, you know. She was like oh it's all good, it's all good. Phone was off. I'm getting you know voicemail the entire time that she's on this date, having the time of her life, so we had a real transparent conversation about it when she got home our group of sisters decided yes, these are the things that we're going to share with one another so that we can be safe and everybody can feel comfortable in that dating environment.

Speaker 2: 47:42

So I think it's real important that you have your sisters around you right now.

Speaker 1: 47:46

Yeah, that's, that's a good point. Like you said, telling somebody. So you know, not going to nothing happens, but if it does, at least you have a clue of to say something. Oh, I know she went out with this person or that person. They've met up at this place. She's in her location. And what are you saying? Dating aside, what about, um? Tell me, how does your children feel about you going solo and how do you handle your family when it comes to these conversations about you being all over the world?

Speaker 2: 48:17

Well, luckily, I only have one kid and I have one daughter and one granddaughter, and when I first went to Ecuador, that was my first long, the long term of solo adventure. Like I said, she expected me to be gone 60 days. That was the expectation, that was the plan.

Speaker 1: 48:37

And I was a planner.

Speaker 2: 48:38

So the plan was just that. When the plan changed, yeah, she was feeling some kind of way like wait a minute. You said 60 days, now you're talking about six months. What's going on with you? So we had to have that real conversation. This is what I need in my life right now. So that was kind of challenging. But now she's my biggest advocate. She's like where you going, you know, I'm here with my granddaughter, who reminded me that I'm only the galavanting grandma because of her. You would only be the galavanting mommy if it wasn't for me. She said so shout out to my granddaughter, laila. But those are the two people in my life that I really, you know, have to be okay with. They have to be supportive of this lifestyle and thank God they are, because I can involve them to a certain level. You know, with house sitting. I'm doing it for six weeks in Seattle. My granddaughter's with me every day.

Speaker 1: 49:37

Oh, okay, so, okay. So I didn't realize that. I guess, long as you let them know that you're having a guest, whether kid or whatever, that you just informed the hosts that that's a happening.

Speaker 2: 49:50

It's not that simple. There are six that are deemed family friendly.

Speaker 1: 49:57

Okay.

Speaker 2: 49:58

So I look for those when I know that I want to bring either my daughter, granddaughter or both, and then in my profile I do also say when there's an opportunity and the opportunity presents itself Excuse me, sometimes I do bring my granddaughter and so it's part of my profile, so it's not a surprise when I say, oh, I'm going to bring Laila with me.

Speaker 2: 50:22

It's not a surprise. So you manage those expectations, so that you don't always have to ask the question. I have my host asking me are you coming by yourself or is Laila joining?

Speaker 1: 50:34

you. Okay, so they already know, they know. They already know what's going on. Okay, so I like that. Okay, so that's super cool. That's super cool that you can involve your family if necessary. I like that you're still able to involve the most important people right now to you into that lifestyle.

Speaker 2: 50:55

Yeah, yeah, I mean, you know my parents are gone, so who am I accountable to at this point in my life? You know, it's about what I need, what I want to be the best person that I can be which translates, I certainly hope and to be in the best mom that I can be, in the best grandma. So you know, it's all about going back full circle to the beginning of our conversation, giving yourself permission to give you what you need to be empowered, successful, happy, at peace and all around well.

Speaker 1: 51:31

That is wonderful. I like that. So tell us any last words that you want to let us know about being a season traveler or any other destinations you want to talk about. So any final words that you can give to our listeners.

Speaker 2: 51:50

Thank you so much again for the opportunity and let me just encourage women of color, but particularly my sisters who are season 55 and over. Do not let the fact that you haven't done it stop you. I encourage you to get that blue book. If you got it and it's got dust on it, blow the dust off, you know. Pick a destination, get to it, book yourself a flight and get to it. Like you said, just do it. You know it's never. You're never too old and it's never too late.

Speaker 1: 52:24

Absolutely, and so if people are looking for you or want to use any of your services, please let us know where they can find you.

Speaker 2: 52:32

Absolutely so. My next book is Diamond Crystal. My group on Facebook is the Gallivanting Grandma, and you can also find my YouTube under the Gallivanting Grandma, as well as IG.

Speaker 1: 52:50

I love that name, so we're going to make sure that we have all of your information so that people can contact you if necessary If they have any questions. I don't know if you're accepting VA clients or if they just want to transition into that global Nomad digital lifestyle. This was a great conversation. I'm so happy that you were able to come on, tell us about your experiences and introduce us to something new that a lot of people do not know about. We talk about wellness, sabbatical healing, grieving, dating, solo traveling. We went all over the place. We got a little bit of everything and this was just a snippet of the conversation and I guarantee you we could probably literally talk all night about any of those topics. But I'm so glad that you came on and I look forward to talking to you in the future about other stuff and I look forward to just kind of seeing where you're at next.

Speaker 2: 53:49

Well, thank you again so much and, like I say all the time, I hope to see you somewhere in the world, not on this computer screen somewhere in the world. All right, this is awesome, thank you. Thank you All right.