Ever found yourself swiping through dating apps and feeling like you're just not cutting through the LA dating haze? Carla, a dynamic educator and fitness aficionado, joins us to share her personal navigation through the love labyrinth of Los Angeles. From the nuances of online profiles that herald warning signs to the essential need for in-person connections, this episode is a treasure trove of insights for anyone playing the romance roulette in the City of Angels.
Sifting through digital personas can be as tricky as LA traffic, but Carla walks us through the green and red flags that can make or break a potential match. We chuckle over dating misadventures and celebrate the little victories that signal a partner worthy of your time. Whether you're caught up in the whirlwind of managing multiple romantic interests or you're simply looking for a solid relationship, the candid chat with Carla offers a glimpse into the strategic dance of modern love, including the sometimes overlooked value of transitioning connections from romantic to platonic.
Join us for an episode that's like grabbing coffee with your best friend who just happens to be a guru at reading between the lines of dating app banter. We're not just talking about romantic escapades; we're getting real about the role of personal growth in finding and fostering meaningful relationships in the eclectic social landscape of Los Angeles. Carla's reflections on the dating scene are a compass for navigating the complex terrain of love and intimacy in a city where everyone's looking for their perfect scene in the screenplay of life.
Ever found yourself swiping through dating apps and feeling like you're just not cutting through the LA dating haze? Carla, a dynamic educator and fitness aficionado, joins us to share her personal navigation through the love labyrinth of Los Angeles. From the nuances of online profiles that herald warning signs to the essential need for in-person connections, this episode is a treasure trove of insights for anyone playing the romance roulette in the City of Angels.
Sifting through digital personas can be as tricky as LA traffic, but Carla walks us through the green and red flags that can make or break a potential match. We chuckle over dating misadventures and celebrate the little victories that signal a partner worthy of your time. Whether you're caught up in the whirlwind of managing multiple romantic interests or you're simply looking for a solid relationship, the candid chat with Carla offers a glimpse into the strategic dance of modern love, including the sometimes overlooked value of transitioning connections from romantic to platonic.
Join us for an episode that's like grabbing coffee with your best friend who just happens to be a guru at reading between the lines of dating app banter. We're not just talking about romantic escapades; we're getting real about the role of personal growth in finding and fostering meaningful relationships in the eclectic social landscape of Los Angeles. Carla's reflections on the dating scene are a compass for navigating the complex terrain of love and intimacy in a city where everyone's looking for their perfect scene in the screenplay of life.
Hey everyone and welcome back to when in the Hurd is Tiffany. We have a special treat for you. This is always a fun topic to talk about. We are going to be talking about dating and relationships, and it's specifically pertaining to the city call Los Angeles, or LA, as most of you all know. So my special guest today is Carla. So I'm going to let Carla introduce herself and then we're going to get into this a fun and exciting conversation, because who doesn't like to talk about dating?
Speaker 2:Carla. Hello everyone. So my name is Carla. I am from Los Angeles, california. I am an educator. I am also into fitness. I've done some training boot camps. I'm really passionate about dating relationships and networking with women, connecting the community. And that's just a little bit about me.
Speaker 1:All right, thank you, carla. I'm trying to think I'm like Carla where do we meet at? I don't even remember where we met at. I know we probably met on social media, but me and Carla have been hanging tough this year alone, which is funny because and this is why I want to talk to Carla about this because Carla actually brings her dates to these functions that we go on to. So I'm always asking her, like Carla, what is going on.
Speaker 1:So I was like okay, we have got to do a video about this, because people talk about dating in LA and they say it's trash. People say there's pee in the dating water, there's so many misconceptions, right. And so since Carla has success with dating in LA, I wanted to talk to her about what is her success. She's going to give us some tips. You guys are going to go out and do what she says. You're going to come back and let us know if it worked or not. Is it just working for Carla, or can it work for other people? So let's talk about dating in LA. When you hear that phrase, what automatically do you think about Carla?
Speaker 2:Okay, so first I want to say how we met. I want to say we met on Facebook and pretty much you were posting about your travel. So you know I love travel and I always want to travel more. So I think that's kind of how we connected and to give you some insight on dating and my success. So giving you a little background, I have a friend from college she actually she told me to go on dating apps.
Speaker 2:I was completely one of those people that was against dating apps and you know I would just rather meet someone in person. And you always hear these stories about people something bad happened and people that are on dating apps. But honestly, with this generation and how things are changing, you know you might as well get on dating apps. But to first things you need to do as far as getting on dating apps, you need to make sure you make yourself marketable, so kind of look at it like you are applying to a job.
Speaker 2:So the pictures that you put on your, on your profile, make sure you have a variety of pictures of things that you like and enjoy. So let's say, you're going to put, if you're into hiking, you're going to put a picture of you hiking. You know if you're into dancing, you're going to put a picture of you dancing. If you like animals and you're into nature, you're going to put a picture of that. So just making sure that you put pictures that describe who you are in your interest. You know, in the sections where you're commenting and answering questions, you're going to make sure you highlight yourself and if it's a question of what you're looking for in a partner, you put those key factors of what you're looking for.
Speaker 2:Another thing, just in general about yourself you need to come with a mindset and an attitude of being positive and not negative to me. So you know some people have this mindset. Like you said, there's P in the in the dating pool. How can you find someone in Los Angeles if everyone is is, you know, just toxic, right? You know they're not serious, they're not trying to really find a partner. You need to come with a mindset and a mind frame that you are open to dating and you're open to meeting a person.
Speaker 1:Yes, I like the way that you said be marketable. Okay, so, and you say it almost like you're applying for a job, which is hilarious to me but I feel like it kind of makes sense that you would need to be marketable. And it is true, it's the power of your words, right? You do want to be positive when you're there, because if that's your concept of dating is horrible, then dating probably will be horrible, right? But if you kind of open your mind and what they call is the manifestation, I just believe in saying positive words and those positive words definitely will come back to you. So I definitely think those are some great tips in terms of what to actually put on your dating profile. So that was good. So tell me, what dating apps are you going on, because I know people want to know.
Speaker 2:Okay, what's the best one, for you found success at Okay, so the first one that I joined is called Coffee Meets Bagel Coffee Meets Bagel. Another one that is good is Hinge. Another one that I joined most recently is Facebook Dating, but I'll give you, I'll give you a little layout of each one. Coffee Meets Bagel. It's kind of targeted towards professionals, so the mindset is for you to meet them at a coffee shop. I am not. I don't prefer coffee dates.
Speaker 2:I think in my mind, coffee dates is a lazy way of dating. But some people say, if you want a coffee date, you can have coffee, you can talk and then, if you do not enjoy the date, you can get out of it. But to me, and some women believe that you know, if you're going to get dressed up, if you're going to drive out, if you're going to dedicate time, going to meet for coffee is just not, you know, a cool date. If you want to, if a guy is going to think about the date, be creative In the summertime. Let's say you're going to have a picnic, you know you're going to go out, you're going to grab food, you're going to just be at the park and you're going to enjoy each other's company. You could also take a walk at the park. You know you can go to a movie screening or you can get out into the community See if there's a community event going on and you can take part in that. If you, you know the whole coffee thing, if you just want to avoid that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like that whole coffee thing is such a big debate. Now it is clearly divided, where people are saying yes, absolutely, let's go for it, and the other people are like, nope, I need you to put a little bit more effort. So I guess for me I guess I'm 50 50 on it, I guess I would be open to a coffee day, but I don't really drink coffee so I don't know how fun that would be for me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so like probably, so probably you will say like hey, I don't drink coffee. They may say let's go get Boba or let's get frozen, Right, I guess right, a juice bar or I guess whatever.
Speaker 1:But yeah, I'm kind of 50 50 on it. I get it where what they're saying like hey, if we don't really like each other we can kind of end it and there's no money put into it. But on the other hand, like you said, if you are trying to date me, I guess there should be a standard, because I, like you, like creative dates. I we're not going to be having coffee dates from here on out, like I want you to kind of get into it. So kind of setting the standard. And I think a lot of times we don't set that standard for who we're looking for and then we're disappointed when they don't level up to what we're even thinking that they should be.
Speaker 2:Right. So it's like one of those things where the usually the way people start out. Some people say, like OK, one or two dates, you're just testing things out. But usually after talking to someone on the phone, texting, facetiming, you're at a point where you kind of are getting to know each other better and hopefully, if you're at that point of knowing them a little bit better, you will have more energy and effort towards picking a date. That's a little bit more thoughtful. If you're just you know, hey, you barely met them and you want to hair up and meet them fast, which is still OK and you do a date, that's not as much effort.
Speaker 2:I will hope over time that after getting to know them a little bit better talking, texting you put more energy and effort into a date. But mostly, most people, usually when they start off, they start off strong. They want to impress that partner, they want to put their best foot forward. You're in a position to impress them, to find that mate. So you, honestly, you want to give some effort. You know, whatever you feel like your effort is, you know.
Speaker 1:I agree, kyla. Do you think that men should plan the day solely, or do you think that it should be a collaborative effort? Or do you think women should plan the day?
Speaker 2:I honestly think it depends on the people. Some guys are really great at planning dates. Some women are really great at planning or suggesting dates, but I think it just depends on the two people who should plan it. But more of an old fashioned approach I believe the guy should plan, initiate at least that first, second date and then over time allow the woman to do some of the planning.
Speaker 1:Right, ok, so that was Coffee Meets Bago. Anything else you want to say about Coffee Meets Bago before you go to the next city App, which is here?
Speaker 2:I would say, as in most dating apps, you really have to be careful because some not so great people will always slip in and be on those apps. So it's like one of those things where you still have to use your judgment and decipher through different profiles and talking to people. So, but I think overall, coffee Meets Bago is pretty solid, pretty solid dating app.
Speaker 1:OK, and is there a fee to that one?
Speaker 2:Yes, there's a fee, but there is a free version. So if you're on the free version, you just have so many swipes a day before they start saying you have to buy beans, which is like it's coffee right, coffee Meets Bago. So they say you have to buy these beans to get more swipes, to get more opportunities to see more profiles. Honestly, the free version you have a good amount of profiles you can view each day. If you're one of those people where you need to swipe a little bit more, possibly, but honestly, I think it's fine, when you're just starting out, to not pay for the service and use the free version.
Speaker 1:OK, ok. So let's go to Hinge what we got going with Hinge.
Speaker 2:Well, hinge gives you the opportunity, similar to Coffee Meets Bago. We have like profile options where you answer questions, you have pictures. A lot of the apps kind of use a similar setup or profile setup, where you're going to get the pictures, you're going to get the questions. They're going to ask you the age, what are you looking for, and you're just swiping. So it's like one of those things where it just depends on what's at this location in this app and who is signed up here and who's signed up for the other. I would say, once you're swiping and you're picking certain people that you like, usually the algorithm they're going to show up more people that you like.
Speaker 2:But I would say one thing about hinge and the free version of hinge you're able to customize your location. So if you want to date two miles from you or a location, or 10-25 miles from your location, you have that option. And something that I would recommend is you know, find the area that you frequent and stick to a five mile and less radius, so that way you find the matches in that area and then if you want to venture out to a different area or a larger mile radius, you have that option. But honestly, I usually say, hey, I'm in Los Angeles. Let's say I'm going to be in this area most of the time I have this cover city. Most of the time I'm going to focus my search in that area. Or you're going to say, hey, I'm mostly in the Inglewood area, let me focus my area or the people that I come into contact with in that area.
Speaker 2:So it's like with hinge you have the option to figure out what area you want to date in. So it gives you more flexibility, especially with that free version. It gives you that option. Confidence Vago doesn't give you the option. It's kind of like you're getting people from all over, kind of still in your LA area, but they're all over. They could be in the valley, they could be, you know, 20 miles, they could be Right.
Speaker 1:And for LA? Yeah, the people that live this way. Yeah, we're not trying to go to the valley, so I definitely like that. They have the location on there. And what was the third app that you mentioned?
Speaker 2:So the next one is Facebook Dating, which I've joined, maybe a few months ago. That one, I would say honestly, if I was to give my opinion on it, that would be more towards the bottom and I'm newer at that app, but I still look at it like, oh, the quality that I found is not so great, right yeah, when I think of Facebook and I y'all.
Speaker 1:if y'all know Tiffany, then y'all know Tiffany loves Facebook. But when I think about Facebook Dating, it just seems so weird to me, so I'm not surprised that it's third on your list.
Speaker 2:And I will say this too because, if you think about it, with most apps you have to do the work at creating a profile from scratch.
Speaker 2:With Facebook Dating you pretty much already have your profile somewhat already created because you already have a Facebook. So it's like if somebody wants you to just say, click on Facebook Dating, they don't have to do as much work to kind of get their profile up and going and they can keep it very minimal. A lot of the dating apps require you to fill in a lot of the spaces and they don't allow you to leave it blank. You know, here and there you can kind of get around with not filling some things in, but most apps want you to fill in something. You know they don't want you to keep it blank. And then also, when you're dating the people that are looking at your profile, if it's blank, why should they click on your page? You know it's just it's another reason to weed you out. But with Facebook Dating it's already somewhat created for you and you're just, you know, accepting that you're going to get on Facebook Dating.
Speaker 1:I have a question. So with the dating, can they also see your personal Facebook pages as well?
Speaker 2:Okay, that's a great question. They cannot see your personal Facebook page and profile, but they can see what friends you have in comments. So that could be pros and cons, you know. Say, for instance, they have friends from your college or your travel, or friends from when you were in high school, or friends you group with, kind of gives you an idea of where that person fits in. You know, it doesn't tell everything, but it kind of gives you an idea.
Speaker 2:So usually with me, if I see certain groups of people that they have in common, that's on my page, I'm like, oh nope, I'm not, I'm not gonna slide. Yeah, that's like the past life or that's a, you know, group of people that I don't want to associate with. But then it's like, hey, this is this group that are thriving, they are doing good works, they're in the community, they are working, they're family oriented. You know, it seems like they have good things going on with this friend group or these group of people that they have in common. You know, yeah, maybe I've set, you know, see what, where that goes.
Speaker 1:Okay, so I have another question, because you kind of mentioned about being careful with these apps. So let's talk about some red and some green flags when it comes to the people that you're dating. So what are some red flags to look out for when it comes to online dating?
Speaker 2:Usually it's like some standard things that say I'm, you know, I'm looking at, I'm looking for a guy, so I'll kind of go with that and then I'll generalize a bit. Usually I am not interested in guys that have like alcohol and parties all over the different pay, his different pictures, you know the ones that seem like he is the ladies man. I am not interested in that type of guy, so that will be a red flag. Usually you can read the profile and certain things will pop out at what someone will say. You know, some guys will say some things that come off controlling. You know, I want a woman that wears her hair like this, that she doesn't do this, just pretty much telling a woman what to do and not coming with an open mind. Yeah, everyone has a preference of who they want to date and how they want their partner to look, possibly. But for the person to outright say this is how they need to dress, this is how they need to act, that's the controlling aspect. That, yeah, I would just swipe away, right, okay.
Speaker 1:So, for example, you may see a guy that says I want someone that doesn't wear eyelashes, that has their hair down to here, that weighs you know 200 pounds, or it is very kind of those narrow things and what.
Speaker 2:I would say I would say it's, I would say more of it's ways to say things. So if the guy says it's specific, every single thing, that's more of a controlling problem. If the guy says I prefer a natural woman, that's more accepting, that's saying hey, this is your preference, but it's not saying you're going to nitpick at every single thing and have a fit. You have to be like that right?
Speaker 1:Yes, and so these are. These are signs that you are looking for before you're even swiping, right?
Speaker 2:Well, it's just before you even get to that point of messaging and saying, hey, let's talk. It's more of like, let me just, let me push out the ones that are just not the best fit. You know also, you, eventually, after swiping for a bit, you start seeing the ones that pop up on multiple dating apps, which you know everyone's looking for their partner. So that's fine. But then you have it to where you constantly see, let's say, multiple profiles. That's that's where I'm going with this. You see multiple profiles, you see that same person and they're using different names. So that's a red flag To me.
Speaker 2:It's like you would think that's kind of automatic. You will assume like, hey, that's a red flag. This person, what are they doing? Is this a? You know? Are they just there? They're putting fake names, they're using some of the same pictures, but some of them are different to kind of get more ladies, you know, or more matches. So if on either side, if you, if you see a person that you're interested in, they're coming up in your feet with different names and just it's just very sketchy, you just like, oh no, I don't know what's going on here. This is, this is a red flag.
Speaker 1:So okay, let's say you guys, let's say you swipe to you connected, they swipe back on you. What about talking to them and then meeting up with them? What? Do you think is kind of like the time frame. So let's say I message on a Monday, Is it two weeks later that I should try to meet up with them, or like what? How does that part go?
Speaker 2:Okay. So I would recommend one week, one week, one solid week, nothing more than that. You know, sometimes you have the holidays, you have someone can be focused on work in a project, so it may extend longer. But honestly, to do a drawn out communication, usually the interest eventually dies down and then you're going to find someone else, they're going to find someone else in there. You guys are both probably pretty tired of each other, just depends. But usually you want to say within a week. You don't want to drag it out to two weeks. The only way, the only way you would drag it out to two weeks is if you have some obligations that's causing you not to meet sooner.
Speaker 1:You don't want to just have a text text partner, you know interesting because I never even thought two weeks seems like a short time, but yeah, I guess what we would have to try that to see and I think I guess that would also show how serious they are, because some men are interested in just texting and calling and never meeting or, like you said, never putting that effort to date or you know any of that. So, carla, have you ever had any issues where these men were in other relationships, either married or had girlfriends, and they're on these dating profiles? Have you ever caught anybody?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So even before catching some of them, some of them are open and honest about it and that's where you just haught it really fast. You know, sometimes they will it's kind of a sneaky way that they go about it. They will. They won't tell you until you're on a date with them, and then they're like hey well, I have someone, I just want to let you know. No, sorry, sir, in this, in this quick, you know, or some will hint at saying oh, I'm separated, no, we don't need the separation. You could deal with your separation on your side. You're not available. You know some and the new big thing.
Speaker 1:Carla is like the whole polygamy thing, like that's. That's the new craze right now.
Speaker 2:And for that I think it's more of if you are upfront and honest, and some people put that on their profile, so you kind of already know ahead of time if that's what they're looking for, other partners it will say, hey, I'm Polly, we are looking for a partner, and then they will put their partners pictures in the profile.
Speaker 1:Okay well, yeah, I actually prefer them to be upfront, like you said, because when you're a friend and I can make the decision, initially, because sometimes people will quote unquote be dating these people for a long time and you find out oh, they have a long time girlfriend, they have a wife. So I had a situation where I was on oh my God, it wasn't black panning, oh my God, I can't remember what the date it was, so long ago.
Speaker 1:I'm like, okay, cute bit or something you know back in the day, okay cute bit, I can't remember that, but anyway so basically I met this guy and it was funny because I wasn't even attracted to him at all and I feel like this is one of the other things. That's who we find ourselves in. It's like, oh, but they kind of he kind of like convinced me, like, oh, like, let's just hang in. I'm like, okay, so I think that's the first thing. If you're not even attracted to these men, don't even go forward with it. So that's my riff, like number one, that was my bag.
Speaker 1:So we ended, and I'll tell you all the ref lengths. So we ended up meeting up and then he tells me to meet up at his house. Another ref like I would not recommend meeting up at people's houses, okay, so I guess in the house, everything is fine, nothing happens, he's okay, nothing goes wrong. I think it was kind of trying to be a little touchy for the, but nothing, that was like too aggressive to where I was like, oh, my God, need to run out the door, right. But of course I was like, no, I'm just meeting you, right, so nothing. I didn't look around the house, of course, because my first time coming, but there was no red flags to show any signs of anybody else like living in the house right.
Speaker 1:So again, luckily there was no kissing, there was no sex, there was no anything right. So leave the house, fine, whatever I would say. Like maybe a week or two later and I remember it because I was, I was about to vote, okay, and so, as I'm in line voting, I get this phone call and I'm like I don't know. I don't know if she said my name, but anyway, she basically was like this is so, is so, is a wife.
Speaker 1:And I was like oh shoot, I was like girl. I am so sorry, I did not know this man was married, but look at, here I am in this man's house, okay, and come to find out. I feel like he's done it before. This isn't her first phone call to anybody. In addition, the story was at the time that I was at her house. She was in the hospital giving birth to their child, okay.
Speaker 1:So he was just shady like all the way around and I was like I'm so sorry. I was like you don't have to worry about me, we did not do anything. If that makes you feel better, I said and of course you know I'm cool on obviously talking to this man, but again I had a feeling that this wasn't her first wrong call. Right.
Speaker 1:It's like usually it's like and wait for her before and after that. About a month later, this dude calls me. I don't know why, I don't know if we was using block back then, block numbers or whatever, but this dude had the nerves to call me like I was like, are you serious? I was like you know your wife already called me. Like, don't ever call me again.
Speaker 2:He tried to circle back and think that you were gonna fall for the trick.
Speaker 1:I don't know what trick would it be the girl that called me. So it was just kind of like are you serious at this point? So I will just say be aware of those situations as well when it's involving other people. But yeah, don't go to the house. Like you said, a proper date. You know, and just because people are crazy and you have a lot of situations where people begin to date people, they bring them to their house and you know people are quick to establish residency and so if they get their mail there, it's a wrap. You can't put them out Like it's crazy and it's like we ain't doing all of that. So you definitely not come into my house for a very, very long time, cause we ain't got time for that.
Speaker 2:So true, so true.
Speaker 1:Okay, so those are some red flags to look out for. Okay, we also have the red flags, but let's talk about some green flags. What gives you a go to actually set up the dates?
Speaker 2:Okay. So usually it's open communication. When someone's communicating, they're sharing, you know, maybe they're weak. You know, let's say, oh, what they're doing for the day or they're trying to initiate plans. That open communication lets you know that, hey, they're trying to include you into their life. You know, and I'm sure you're probably doing the same because you're communicating hey, I have this going on, I have this going on, but I want to make time for us or let's meet up. Or that person is planning a date and they're doing this, they're doing this over time. Let's say that initially they're doing that to meet up with you. They're actually they're putting that energy and effort into saying, hey, let's meet up, let's take this off of the app, let's take this off of the phone and let's see if we mesh or connect in person. At least let that initial setup of let's meet off of this app and then you will say, over time, them spending time with you and you guys are going. Now it lets those green flags continue going, because it's like they are making an effort.
Speaker 2:Another way that you see that it's a green flag just from messaging back and forth. I will say it varies by people, but some, because some people don't like the FaceTime thing and that's pretty understandable. But I will say a green flag is when they are FaceTiming you, they let you into their world. So, similar to that communication thing. If you're FaceTiming that person, hey, I'm out, they can pick up the phone or they can answer a text or their communication is flowing. Usually that's more of a green flag. If they're trying to figure out they have these certain times to communicate with you. That's going more towards that red flag. So if they're like, hey, I get off work this time, let's chat, then they're pretty much initiating that communication. They're initiating including you into their lives. They have room for you.
Speaker 2:Some people are not making room for relationships, so they're putting you on a schedule. That green flag is hey, this is flowing, let's talk this time. Hey, I get off of work, oh, let's talk tonight. That green flag is seeing that this person it's not really hiding anything and them including you in their life in a good way. It's flowing, it doesn't seem like it's work. So I'll say that's another green flag. Over time, over time not soon, but over time them incorporating and telling you their plans for the future. This is not something that they're gonna be doing the first week hey, I want you in my life. That whole love bomb thing it's like over time of dating. You're going on dates. You guys are saying what you want for your future, what kind of relationship you want, because usually you will wanna know that early on someone's posting in their dating profile what kind of relationship they want. Hey, I want a serious relationship. I want a casual relationship. Oh, I'm uncertain as you're dating that person.
Speaker 1:And hopefully they're telling you, hopefully those questions are being answered in the beginning, because if I want children and you don't, I want them in the next two years. I need to know that. If I'm interested in getting married and you're not like. We need to talk about that.
Speaker 2:And then this is the part where I think it becomes a little bit tricky because, let's say, I say, hey, yes, I wanna be married, I wanna have kids. You saying that to the person sounds great and you guys have that initial connection and thing in common, but you may not be the person that I want to be as my partner. So, yeah, we have that initial connection, but it may not be you. So, but as long as you are upfront, hey, I want this type of relationship. That person was the same. You all flow with it and you figure it out.
Speaker 2:But some people put on their apps. It could be at one point they want it serious and that's still on their app and they haven't updated their app. You still ask them. You still ask them because this is where some of that tricky stuff comes in. It's like, hey, they wanted a serious relationship. You read that they wanted a serious relationship, but when you went out with them, they're in a phase of not looking for a serious. They're broken, they're dealing with some traumatic issues. You know they just haven't updated their profile. So you still some of these things they have those conversations. You still need to have those conversations.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it's the. I definitely think you need to hear from the horse's mouth. So I definitely want to hear you say that. And two, I also want to hear your timeline as well. And I think I say timeline because the older I'm getting, I'm like okay, we got to figure this out In our twenties. We had time in a ways In our thirties. It's kind of like okay, I think we need to push this forward a little bit.
Speaker 1:Not that you have to move fast, but I think it's important because, again, if we both want to get married, we both want to have kids, but you want to have kids in 10 years and you want to get married in 15, that just may not work for my timeline, even if we want the same thing. I do have another question. So there's always this debate about dating multiple people. Do you think that you should date multiple people or you should focus your attention on one person at a time?
Speaker 2:So I believe you should date multiple people. You are upfront about this. You are letting that person know that you're going on dates with that. You're dating multiple people because you are trying to find the right fit. You are not putting all your eggs in one basket and just expecting it to work. Usually it may not work, every now and then you may have that person that works. But no, you are dating multiple people just like and I'm going to go back to that job application reference and treat it somewhat like a business, because you're not just throwing yourself to one person, throwing yourself to one job, and saying, oh, this is going to work, this is the best fit, you're looking for the best.
Speaker 2:Let's say, you're the person going to that job. You want to make sure this is right for you just as much as it's right for them. You're not just saying, hey, I'm going to come here and it's going to work. No, you want to shop around. You want to see what you like. You want to see what you don't like. Then you could see what, personally, what you are not willing to put up with. You have a guy or a girl or your partner taking you out and, oh, maybe this person is saying words of affirmations. If that's your love language, oh, I like that they're doing this for me. Oh, I like that they're serving. Oh, this person baked some desserts. That was very thoughtful of them. You know doing different things to see what you like out of the people that you are dating.
Speaker 1:You know you're not willing to so what's the most have you dated at the time?
Speaker 2:I would say, because the thing about it is some people are, let's say, five to six and let's say some people could be further along, that you're dating and someone could be the first one. I've heard of people dating more, I've heard of people dating less, but I would say a solid five. I say a solid five because then, but then think about it, like I said, the time that you spend with them, you know the text messages, it all varies.
Speaker 1:Well, if you were talking to Carl, if you're talking about five, now that definitely sounds like a full-time job.
Speaker 2:It is a full-time job. It is a full-time job.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I feel like you got to be putting your words up. You're talking about dating. You have to realize that it's going to be something that you have to do in addition to all the 50 million things, because, honestly, when you're dating people, you have to keep up with the conversation, okay.
Speaker 1:You have to remember names. You have to remember who does what, what they like, what they don't like. You have to remember where you went on a date Like. I feel like that could definitely be exhausting. I don't know if I can do five. I would say a good three. I would have to go down to two or three because I'm just like that's a lot going on in a lot of people.
Speaker 2:Well, this is where the ones you phase out comes in, because it could be one or two that this person is good communicator, this person is not. You phase them out. So even if you were to say top three, let's say solid three, you have solid three guys that are in the match. The other two could be struggling along and you push them out. There could always be someone you're texting hey, you're cool, oh, you seem more like a friend. You phase them out. It's not like that.
Speaker 1:You usually are not going to get solid, a solid five guys that are solid and I think that's important too, because maybe it wasn't a Romantic thing, but they could be your best friend or they could not. I think that's important to be open to it being just a friend, or you saying, I don't want to be friends at all, let's completely cut this off. So I think you have options when it comes to that particular thing.
Speaker 2:And that's where and that's where that communication comes in, because you're communicating and let them know like, hey, this is what it is and you guys are mutual about that. You know it doesn't have to end bad, it's hey, we're good at this, you know we can partner at this business venture or this outing. Oh, you see, more like you, you're into this, this world, we can, we can be in each other's world in that aspect, you know right.
Speaker 1:Um, you mentioned something about people not being healthy, so let's move to that topic, about people like entering relationships and not being healthy and whole. We talk about therapy in our generation but, honestly, enough of us are still not going to therapy and I find that we are Probably jumping from one relationship next week, that a one. We're not healed from that one, but because of circumstances, we just jump into the next one, and so now you have two broken people trying to form a relationship, and that is the reason why it ain't working. Okay right.
Speaker 1:Hold it healthy. So what have you seen so far with the men that you come across? You find them to be unhealthy or do you find that they've done the work to be in the relationships?
Speaker 2:Most of them, I would say they are not doing the work. A small percentage is, but if you look at them across the board, most of them are not. I believe that women are the group that are actually doing the work. As far as going to therapy, journaling, meditating, some of these things also are looked, look at, as more of a feminine Thing to do. But over time we know that, especially, you know, in a black community, especially as time goes on, the pandemic therapy, getting help, seeking help, spotlighting different occurrences that are happening in the community Some people are committing suicide. You know, some people are facing burnout from jobs, from they're like school, they're they're facing burnout. So, seeking therapy, seeking different sources to be well, to regain control, is important. But I would say in the dating world, mostly the woman is actually seeking help from childhood issues, something they're dealing with currently. Whatever they they are, they're the ones that are seeking help. You know, even death, you know whatever they're dealing with, they are the ones that are reaching out, they're using the risk.
Speaker 1:Which reminds me, like the black women black women are strong Syndrome. It's kind of like we are required to kind of carry the burden, like we're doing, we're supposed to do, but sometimes those needs may not be met as well. So is this something that you would like suggest to somebody? Like, maybe it didn't work out? Would you ultimately suggest like, hey, like, how would you think therapy would be for you, for your next race? Have you ever suggested that to anybody?
Speaker 2:So usually and I'll give you some specific examples, I've actually asked that question early on in dating. Some people have this thing where and I can say I've done it where you ask a good amount of questions early on, you get some of the Uncertainty out of the way. So you're like, hey, have you gone to therapy, do you have a therapist? You know you're asking these fire questions, like you may ask some of these questions to see their response, and usually if they say, hey, yeah, I'm in therapy now, or I've gone to a therapist in the past, and they say, hey, so you know, do you plan to Continue with your therapist? And you hint at that, because then that gives them the idea that, oh, they have already Been to a therapist and they're willing to go back, or they, they're willing to continue with that connection, and then it also makes them look good. So let's say, a guy is not really doing it for themselves. You know, sometimes some partners are not doing the work for themselves.
Speaker 1:They're doing it because someone has suggested it, which is, you know, I'm okay with that If it gets you to where you need to go, then it is If it gets you there, you know, because then they are impressing you.
Speaker 2:You know that's usually mean they want your partner wants to impress you, so they're gonna do what. What they see it's oh, this is impressing them, but at the same time it's helping them. So you have that. And then you have the ones that they've never been to a therapist. But as as time goes on and you know they need a therapist, you kind of hint at it. You know some people can go to therapy Through their job. So you kind of you can even over time pull up those resources or if y'all on some kind of date or just a pinball of date, you know whether you could bring that up or even have them look it up on their job website or some kind of resource. You know it's different ways you can approach it because, let's say, they haven't gone to therapy, they know they need it or there may be kind of floating up if they need you or not. You kind of nudge out of the big in a more comfortable way. You know you're not out there saying you're broken, you need therapy.
Speaker 1:It's more of like oh, yeah, sometimes you can be real direct and say you are broken a unique therapy. I'm all about honesty as well, no matter how you say so. But I feel, like sometimes, depending on the person, that some people need a direct approach because you hinting around they.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm just saying in a way of you Saying, in a way of like, you know you don't want to harm their feelings. You're being direct, but you also want to. You want to approach it with care, care, grace. You know you get the best.
Speaker 1:Yeah and a way to do that. You know they say use. I say miss a. Really like I need therapy to like. You know I think you need to Like. I feel like it's okay to say I before. It's a kind of like soft in the below, but however it is like, sometimes it just needs to be done, Correct.
Speaker 1:Um but yeah, I definitely think that the therapy conversation is very important because we know, I mean, look at our parents and then nobody wants a therapy and they probably still ain't going to therapy. So I do think at least our generation is having the conversation Around it and I think that's important. So hopefully the next generation behind us They'll be doing more of the action.
Speaker 2:Okay and I do think that trend is taking place where it's like the previous generation, therapy was so taboo, you are weak if you did it. Our generation is like hey, something's going on, we're overworked, we're tired, you know, we need some help. Okay, these resources are starting to flow more within the university level, within the community level. The pandemic started a lot of it and pushed it to say, hey, like, not just certain communities need therapy, but the world is going through a lot, let's all get it.
Speaker 1:Exactly and saying that we all need. I think it's important to point out that you don't have to have had a trauma Recently or anything like that. Like sometimes you literally just need somebody to talk to, like life. They say life is life in right, right, so you just need to go seek it and there's absolutely nothing wrong. It's like talking to a friend, but a friend that's gonna give you resources and tools to actually heal and to kind of work. These stuff and therapy is not a quick fix fix like it. You may need it for a couple years, you may need it for a while. Like I don't want people to think that, oh, you go one day and then everything's gonna be solved. No, life is ups and downs and so sometimes it's high, sometimes it's low, but at least the therapist will allow you to work in those ebbs and flows of life.
Speaker 2:And then you could look at it as this too Sometimes they say it's nice to load a therapy when you don't even think you have any issues going on. You know, you go and then you start realizing there's some things that is unresolved and you start dealing with those. So then, when something does happen, you kind of have some tools, some tips and tricks to kind of like navigate and work through it with your therapist. You know it doesn't, like you said, it doesn't always have to be when something's traumatic happening. It could be when, hey, life is okay for me right now, you know, but I want to kind of get into therapy, and then they honestly end up working through some stuff that you probably like suppressed, or it just, like I said, gives you some tips and tricks to kind of like navigate if and when you go through something.
Speaker 1:Right, because, at the end of the day, honestly, we all have had some sort of trauma, like maybe some, maybe not as Extensive as us. Now you hear about some people, some people I heard that's throwing on like, oh my god, it's like you can't get a break right and there are some people that haven't went through as much, but it still can be traumatic. Okay, so that was cool. I'm less than once when others happy. So people want to know about dating in LA, so let's talk about that. So where are some places that you have been on? Or give us some of your day ideas, because, as I've said, I've seen Carla on her dates I think that we go to, so tell us a little bit about where are you having your dates. What are good day ideas in LA?
Speaker 2:Okay. So it usually depends on what you like. So me, I love food. I love food from different Cultures and ethnic backgrounds, so I'm always trying different restaurants. I would say, if there's something that has to do with dance and music, that's more of my flow. So if it's an event that includes dance, music and food, I like being in those atmospheres. If a group or organization puts on Some kind of gathering, you know, like, for instance, me hosting pool events, if I'm hosting something where there's a lot of people, there's food involved, there's dancing involved, there's games involved, it's always nice to do those those outings.
Speaker 2:If you're more of a study person, you have a lot of work to do. Maybe you, maybe you'll go to a coffee shop and meet someone there. If there's like a block party, a festival, you know a community that taking place, you can kind of grab somebody along to be low pressure. You know atmosphere where you kind of patronize maybe a local Taco truck or some kind of vendor. You know, pick up an item here and there at the block party or festival, walk around, see a few people. What else if it's the holiday time?
Speaker 1:I'm gonna say Carlos. So when I, when I say that Carla brings these people to these different events.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of people there.
Speaker 1:So, carly, tell me, at what stage of the dating process are you at when it comes to this? Because in the beginning, I would prefer more one-on-one time, so that we get a chance to know each other, and then I would branch out into the other Events. And Carla is brave and bold, I would say and the reason why I say that is because most people are not Bringing people that they're just dating Two functions, like they want to be solid, like, oh, this is the one different thing. So why do you take that approach, carla? Because most people don't do that.
Speaker 2:And I would say this is something a newer thing for me. I'm not inviting them to like family dinners or holiday family gathering, so my family is not included, but because I'm a people person and I like getting out, a lot of people are my friends and so I would say it's Bringing them into the environment where there's a lot of people. It's not the to me. I don't look at it as the end of the world. It's like not like I have to be married to them, you know, with bringing them, but it will be nice that if you bring them to an event with some of your friends, that you know that they're a solid human being.
Speaker 1:You know, I think that's my approach, more than anything, knowing that they're a good person and even besides them being a solid human, I will look at it in terms of because you're a very introvert, I mean extroverted person that they will be comfortable if they were to date you because you like to go to events, so it would be nice if they were comfortable in these environments too. Carla, for some reason, as an extrovert that I am, I tend to attract introverts.
Speaker 2:And I think I think I'm similar too. I think I'm similar too because I feel like I go for for guys that are a little bit more introverted and but I'm the extrovert so I can pull them into my world and they can kind of fit in here and there. They have a flow.
Speaker 1:But the guys that. I've dated. It has been such a struggle like I'm like let's go out and do this, let's go on you and they're more of like home I.
Speaker 2:It irks me and then, and then you could. You, you're seeing in real time that they are not the best fit for you and you're seeing that sooner than later because you're already saying, hey, they're not even coming to the events I like to do. They're not getting out, they may not be the person that supports me as you. Let's say, for instance, you're vending out an event or you need to Put yourself out there and let people know who you are as Tiffany. They're not willing to kind of like, be in the background and attend those things. Then you, you already know, hey, they're not on your team. You know it may not be the best fit. It's, it's uncomfortable for them. You're putting them in situations where they they feel that they do not belong in. You know, they don't feel comfortable there. So it's like it just may not work out.
Speaker 2:And that's a test. You know, hey, I bring you to this event. My friends are here, we're eating good food, we're talking, we're playing games. Oh, you're just mingling around. You're able to like mix and mingle with everybody. I'm at the right, I'm making it, and then you kind of see, you kind of see that, like, this person is cool. You know they're cool, my friend.
Speaker 1:Exactly. I would definitely like. I would definitely like whoever I'm with, like yeah, they don't have to go out with me for every event, but if it's once in a while and I want you to go, like you said, I want you to be, want you to be comfortable, I want you to be able to talk to people because I'm gonna be mingling, so I need you. If I can't sit by your side, I need you to be able to go. What is funny? That there's a? There is a situation.
Speaker 1:I don't think she gonna watch this video. What if she didn't? Sorry, I saw one even named the location because it may be like a big clue. Um, anyway, I was at this event and I was talking to this girl and she had her I don't know if it was her fiance or husband at the time and I feel like we were talking so much and like I didn't think it was a big deal and at some point he was like so are y'all gonna invite me in the conversation? And I was like I just looked at him, like whoa, like I didn't, even I didn't, I had literally just met her in those couple seconds. But I'm like that's the attitude that a person that I wouldn't want to be with, because it's like you are welcome to Talk at any time. We don't have to invite you.
Speaker 1:I'm like he was just so mad and I'm thinking my thought process was maybe he really didn't want to be there and she brought Him along, but she was having a really she's like oh my god, this so make. She was having a really good time. I just feel like the energy from him was like very off because our energy was so opposite and to me that reminds me of People who like to go out, and now you could have been having a bad day, who knows, you know what I'm saying. But at the same time, like he said, I think it's important to be able to have that balance if you were to go out.
Speaker 2:So, and so, pretty much going back to that, it's like for him to say are you guys are gonna invite him in, like what we're?
Speaker 1:together like and it was funny because I think I tried to say, well, have a good night. Or he just kind of looks at me like and I know, like you know it was Kobe back then what's the color of it? Like he didn't like want to shake mine. I was like, okay, this is so weird. And I was just like side, I am the entire. But whatever the point is, like, I think it's good to have a little bit of a balance, like you said, to have that one-on-one time to get to know each other and For me, further down the road, to maybe invite them to some of the events or some outings to go on to as well.
Speaker 1:So also, carly, tell me about, okay. So tell me, how many days have you specifically went on this year? We're talking about in LA, because we said they can't find a date in LA. So how many dates have you been on?
Speaker 2:Um, I would say so, look at it by the month, so at least like five, five of each month. You know, cuz, some, some times when you date, they want to go one week and then the next week they want to go. Or they want to go out this week and they want to. Like me, I have this thing where I'm in school so I'm studying a lot. It could be a study day, it could be let's take a walk date. It could be less grab dinner. It could be Think of activities that you do, that you like. You can throw that in as a date.
Speaker 2:So it doesn't always have to be like let's go to this concert. You know I've been to like a concert, hey, let's go to the concert. This is a date. It doesn't always have to be that. It could be, you know, something very small that takes 30 minutes to an hour to do. Or it could be something that once you feel comfortable you know, you see, feel that it's a certain vibe, it could be a day trip.
Speaker 2:So even if it's like you going on multiple dates throughout the month, it doesn't have to, especially if they're in the similar city as you.
Speaker 2:It doesn't have to take up a lot of your time and with dating, I wouldn't even tell someone to put so many hours Into a date. You know a solid date, two hours less, one hour less, especially if they're in similar areas as you. If they're like really far, hour, hour and a half away and you're doing long distance, yeah, you probably want to spend more time with that person within that date. But if they're in similar city, you guys could, hey, after work, grab some drinks, you know. Grab some appetizers, you know, go to a dance class, you know some people are into the gym. So, hey, let's meet about the gym, you know, once you feel comfortable, you know, or a gym that's not your home gym, you know, you want to, you want to get out, but you don't want you don't have to make it last your whole day, or you know all of your free time. So I would say, like I would say, five a month is solid when you are actually Dating to try to find a partner.
Speaker 1:Um, I have a question. Carla, in terms of so you said you went on about five or month. I'm not a big math person. 12 times five sounds about 50, 60 times, I don't know. So, within all these dates, what has been your Outcome? Has it, have you had any relationships, or you've only had success dating? Has it gone further? What is the outcome from all of these?
Speaker 2:dates. So I actually have been in relationships. But when I am I was just referred to when I was single it's like, hey, this is sounds about average, but if I'm in a relationship, hey, you know you don't have to worry about the dating you're already taking. You know you're enjoying yourself. But even when you are in that relationship, you are dating still. So you're dating that person and you are going out. So I would look at it like that too, that even when you're in that relationship, you are dating that person. Where were you going with that question?
Speaker 1:So now I was asking you have any of out of these dates that you've had over the past year? Has any of them results and Relate this people? They want relationships, they don't just want a date. So what is the outcome?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so, not specifically this year, but previous years, I have been in relationships like eight months, seven months. Usually what happens is you guys are head over heels over each other. You guys are dating, you're hanging out, you're getting know each other, you're getting closer. It could be this is a match and let's keep going. Or hey, over time this is not working, let's cut it off. So I would say it has formed into relationships, but if it's not a match over time and you start seeing, okay, let's, we've tried, we try to compromise. It's not working.
Speaker 2:This person moved to a different state. They're not doing distance. This person wants kids and maybe you don't. So it's like or this person wants kids tomorrow and you're like what, I don't know you, I don't know you, how are you expecting me to have kids tomorrow? It's not working, you know. So I will say it's like one of those things where I've been in relationships from dating apps, but over a certain period then it's like Well, maybe this isn't working, you know, or our, we can't compromise to make this work, because there is some compromising that you're doing when you're dating, but not to the point where you're. You're giving up, like your standards and your morals. You're like I can't do it, let's, let's part ways. So I will say I have been in relationships, but once it gets to a certain point where you're like this isn't working and I'm I'm kind of giving up my beliefs and my morals For this, we should just stop. I.
Speaker 1:Do have an action of two last questions for you. One of the questions is when you talk about it in LA, people always say that the guys only one sex so and they're not interested in relation. So have you come across that as well? Do you feel like most guys just one sex, or do you feel like there are some genuine ones? That Either they okay. So we put him in three categories. Either they just want sex, right, just a friend's will benefits, or they kind of want a relationship, but they still want sex too. And so which one have you seen the most? Or have you seen a mixture of guys so?
Speaker 2:I would say I see I Say a mixture, but I will also say being a woman and I can give my take because I'm a woman it's like it's that feminine energy that attracts them, a part of not just hey, you know we're personality. It's that feminine energy and that look that brings them in, so not just sex, but a sexual energy that pulls them in, so as adults, it's like one of those things where you have to, as a woman, let's say that as a woman you can kind of you have power. You have power in that way to pull them in With that sexual energy. But that doesn't mean you have to fall and be pulled back, to fall in that category, to just say, hey, he just wants me for sex. It's like that's where that business, that application, that job, where it's like I'm gonna let you know what I'm willing to do and not.
Speaker 2:But there are a lot of guys in LA that say, hey, let's just, they're just looking for sex, and you just got to really decipher. Sometimes it's like it's hard to tell because it's like you kind of don't know what a person really wants and they could lie, they can deceive, but you kind of have to maintain some control as to Scoping them out, giving it time, going on some dates, talking to them. But there is a high Amount of guys who are just like, hey, that culture of let's just see what I can get from that woman and let me move to the next, so it's really high out there. So the ones that are like, hey, I want a relationship and I'll wait, their numbers are really low. You know they're out there, but you know they're not. The majority in the LA Los Angeles culture, the media and our environment has set Guys up in a way to say just chase and see if you can get that woman. You know, add another notch to your belt. Or tell your friend, friend group hey, I got her, you know.
Speaker 1:So it's like Would you recommend having sex on the first, second or third day, or do you say wait until we figure some things out before we're even crossing that boundary?
Speaker 2:My general statement will be to to hold off. But I have heard the stories where and even previous generations, where they say, hey, we did this the first night and we're married 50 years. But I think generally I think most people you just want to give it time Because you kind of want to weed out the ones that are low energy, low effort and just see what they can get over on. You want to weed those out. You can kind of weed those out if you just give it some time. You know, give it some time, go on some dates, talk to them. The ones that are just like a day to one sex and they just trying to get something out of you and run for the next one, they'll fall off. They'll fall off. So that's a portion of your battle.
Speaker 1:And I guess. I guess it really depends on the woman too. Like you said, I would not recommend that, but there are some women who say I do want to do this on the first day and this is what I'm going to do, and there is no time limit, and I'm not listening to Steve Harvey because it's 90 day rule. You know I'm saying so. I really think I guess it just depends on you as a person of what you're going to do, but I think you, like you said, it's important to be in control if that's something that you want to do. If that's not something you want to do, don't allow someone to pressure you into doing so.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then I wouldn't. I wouldn't judge the person or, like they say, it's you like, your young, if this is what you like, make sure you be safe and and proceed. Also, be mindful. You have emotions, you're human, you know um Work through those because you know you, you may, you may develop feelings, you know, and, hey, that person, they don't want a future with you, you know, or you could be the one where it's like this is what I want to do. That person develop feelings with you and you're just like out of my way, I don't want you, you know. So it can, it can go both ways. Where it's like this woman is the one that that hey gets what she wants and she keeps going and she breaks hearts, you know. So you never know. I think you just got to proceed with caution. You have to communicate and kind of go from there and another thing too, when you talk about people in LA.
Speaker 1:I think people have a perception of people in LA like it's all about that Hollywood life is flashing, and I hear a lot of people move to LA and have this misconception. I'm like I'm just regular old TV, I don't even know anything about the Hollywood life. So I think there's also assumptions that you have to look a certain way and be a certain type. What do you say to those people who say I feel like LA is all about looks into. That plays into the dating field as well. What would you say to that?
Speaker 2:Well, um, throughout this past year and year and a half, I have met a lot of people that are not from Los Angeles. That does have this negative Image on men and women of Los Angeles. You know we're fake, we. You know we're not genuine, we're not loving. But then it's like you meet the people and they see you know you are genuine, you are human, you are loving, caring, heart working. You're not just chasing the celebrity life that they assume or they've watched on TV or they've heard. So it's like those, those stereotypes for those, the imagery that they've been sold. They figure out that that could not, that's not, that's not true, you know. But if they are, if they are going to the places where people are all about looks and they're going to the glam, they're falling into those traps because that's where they're frequenting. And this goes back to what you were saying how you find any people? You got to go to environments where this is what you like and what you prefer. You know, if you're a guy and you're going for the woman with the fake bud and the fake eyelashes and the fake hair and she said hey, you know, take me here, buy me this, you're giving into that. You know you need to figure out the type of woman. That's not about that. So maybe you need to try a different look or try a different environment. You know, go to a art gala or go to a community event where you know there's what can I say? There's live dancing. Go to a like you know, a pottery workshop, or figure out different things that you like and you enjoy and try something new. You know, maybe the, the atmosphere that you're used to going to, is not producing the best type of women. Switch it up. So don't look at it as the environment.
Speaker 2:My experience and my success with dating and finding matches is trying places and people. That is not the norm. You know I don't think I go for the glam, the glitz and even going back to looks, you know a lot of people are about looks. I don't think I go after looks. That's another thing to for me. It's like I don't think I go after the guys that are like super star fine, and the guy that everyone, that everyone likes. I think I go after someone that might not be the most as far as looks I'm not saying that, oh, you're ugly, but it's more of like me. I go for talent, skills. You know I'm looking at what you're good at, you know can you, I think.
Speaker 1:I think it's about preference to what I may find attractive. You may not invite versa, and I think the old saying beauty is in the eye of the beholder is definitely true Because, again, I may think somebody is defying the person. Are you are? You may say, I'm like, I'm a carl, you know whatever floats your boat and I feel like that's how I don't have to wake up to you every day.
Speaker 1:I don't have to call you every day. So it's like if I'm attracted to you, then like, let's row with that flow, like you know. So this has been a great interview. My last question is what tips do you have for those people like what I'm not even we talked about tips and sorry, what advice. What are some final words of advice or encouragement for those people dating in LA?
Speaker 2:Okay. So tips that I would give as far as dating in the late come with a positive mind frame. Let go of all the hurt that you've been through and welcome someone new into your life and be willing to to date. I know that dating is not. It may not come with that first person, but you keep putting yourself out there, just like you keep putting yourself out there in jobs and trying a new skill. You keep at it. So look at dating as a process and a journey and just be positive with that process.
Speaker 2:So another thing put some energy, time into yourself. It's not always the looks, it could be a skill, london, and new skill, a new hobby. It could be tapping back into some hobby that you had in the past. So invest in yourself various ways of investing yourself. So on this journey of dating, you are trying to continue building you and being come as a whole human. You know you are. You are creating something, you are joining with someone else, but make sure you are whole. So going back to you, being whole, investing yourself and trying when it comes to date, I think those are some absolutely great tips.
Speaker 1:So, carla, if you want to find you, please let us know where the audience can find you.
Speaker 2:Alright, so the best way to find me is on Instagram. My Instagram handle is see banks fitness. I meant to fitness. I enjoy being in the community, so pretty much you can look me up on Instagram at at see banks fitness is spelled C, B, a and K s, f it in.
Speaker 1:ESS and it's on the screen, so you guys don't even have so yes, so, carlos, been great conversation and I'm so excited that you came on and this was very fun. So I guess, for all those people that are dating a layer, coming to visit LA, thinking about moving, these are some tips to get you started within your romantic life, okay.
Speaker 2:Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1:Thank you for coming on, so we will see you next time. Have fun.