International Interludes: Love & Adventure Abroad
International Interludes: Love & Adventure Abroad is a podcast that combines the excitement of solo travel with the thrill of international romance.
Join us as we dive into the world of fearless adventurers who set out on their own to explore new horizons, and along the way, found unexpected connections and heartfelt relationships in foreign lands.
In each episode, we'll share inspiring stories of solo travelers who embraced the unknown, discovered hidden gems, and may have kindled the flames of love across cultures.
Whether you're a solo travel enthusiast, a hopeful romantic, or someone curious about the transformative power of embarking on a journey of self-discovery, 'International Interludes' is your passport to tales of adventure, courage, and love those spans continents."
International Interludes: Love & Adventure Abroad
Navigating DEI and Travel Content Creation with Dr. Afiya
Ever wondered what it's like to explore the world through the eyes of a passionate Black traveler? Join us as we reconnect with Dr. Afiya, a brilliant content creator and DEI consultant, and share a heartwarming reunion story from our days in the Nomadness Travel Tribe in Philadelphia. Dr. Afiya opens up about her academic beginnings at Temple University and the profound impact of studying abroad in Ghana, where she felt the empowering experience of being surrounded by people who look like her. You'll also hear about her favorite Ghanaian delicacies and treasured memories from her numerous trips to the Motherland.
Fasten your seatbelts as we then embark on Dr. Afiya's more recent adventures across Senegal, Gambia, Haiti, and Cape Verde. From the historical treasures of Haiti to the luxurious beaches of Gambia, Dr. Afiya shares her enriching experiences and the challenges faced, like losing precious travel content to a stolen phone. With her tips on backing up digital content and vivid personal anecdotes, aspiring travelers and content creators will find plenty of inspiration and practical advice in this captivating conversation.
Our journey with Dr. Afiya continues as we navigate the evolving landscape of DEI and content creation. She shares her journey from DEI consulting to becoming a content creator, reflecting on the surge in DEI interest post-George Floyd and the subsequent decline. We explore strategies for negotiating contracts, building an online presence, and the importance of community over competition. From navigating cultural differences in interracial relationships to solo travel adventures, this episode is filled with insights, personal stories, and valuable lessons for anyone passionate about travel, content creation, and cultural exploration. Tune in for an episode brimming with heart, wisdom, and the joy of discovery.
Hey everyone, welcome back to International Interludes with Tiffany Hurd from Hughes of Africa, and I am super excited for this podcast episode because I knew her as Christina Harris Now she has added doctor onto her name and so we met. I believe we met through Nomadness Travel Tribe and I was actually headed to Philly one day and back in the day we used to say, hey, is there anybody in the city? It was called a bat signal and so when I put this bat signal I was like I'm going to be in Philly, anybody down to hang out? And Christina answered that call and so we hung out for the whole day in Philly which I love Philly, by the way, if you guys have never been, definitely check it out and Christina even opened her home to me, so I stayed at her house for the evening and we went out to. I think it was like a jazz place, right, it was a little place, it was some kind of music, something that we did.
Speaker 2:It was a while ago that we did.
Speaker 1:It was a while ago. It was years ago that we had met up and I think in the morning we went to a little cafe for breakfast or something like that. So that is how we met. So it's good to see Christina's face again and I'm going to hand it over to her so that she can introduce herself, because she has a lot to tell us about who she is.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much. Thank you for having me. I'm Dr Afiya. I am a content creator. I focus on Black-owned food, fun and travel, based in Philly, and a lot of my content lately has been in Philly, but I am international, all over the globe. I was most recently in Columbia and I have a trip coming up to Egypt to celebrate my birthday. I'm very excited bringing some folks along with me and I'm just really happy to be here.
Speaker 1:And so we are going to get straight into it. I told you that she is now Dr Afiya and tell us about your academic journey and how you even got started, where you are to where you are now. So I'm very interested to hear about your dissertation and tell us what college you attended. And, yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 2:Ok, it's a story, so feel free to interrupt me so.
Speaker 2:I moved to Philly to go to Temple University to do a PhD in Black Studies. That's my passion I did during my master's program. I did a study abroad, in Ghana, and that changed my life. I discovered a newfound love for travel as an adult. I had traveled a lot as a child. I was homeschooled. I went to maybe 30 states and a couple of countries as a child, but this was my first time international as an adult and I was like I, like this, also met someone on that trip We'll talk more about that later and I started traveling a lot. I was going all over the place.
Speaker 2:It took me a while to finish my PhD because I went to maybe 25 countries in that span of a few years as I was working on my PhD and folks would always tell me oh, you should be a blogger. I would post pictures here and there. You should be a travel blogger. I don't know anybody that travels like you do and I'm like I'm working on a PhD, I do not have time to be a travel blogger and that was bad, and so once, I feel like Wait, Christina, let me stop you for a second, really quickly.
Speaker 1:Let's roll it back to Ghana. If you listen to this podcast and you know me, you know I have a love for Ghana. So tell me, how did you feel being on the continent as an African-American woman for the first time? Would it, would it? Did Ghana? Do Ghana have you in the feels, or what do you?
Speaker 2:think, oh yes, oh yes, I'm. I'm 40 countries in and Ghana is still my favorite. Anytime people ask me you know, oh, it must be so hard, do you have it? No, it's not hard, it's Ghana, haiti's number two.
Speaker 2:But it was just such a unique feeling for me. I think one of the first things that I always talk about that I did not expect was the feeling of not being a minority for the first time. I hadn't even considered it, it never even crossed my mind. And then, as I'm there and I'm reflecting and I'm like what feels different? And I'm like, oh, everybody around me looks like me, not just the service workers, not just you know one section of the population or you know in one area of a city, but everybody. And so it really removed this race-related stress that I didn't know existed, and having interactions with people and wondering if they're racist or if they're just an asshole in general, and so it was just very freeing to experience that, and I fell in love with the food, fell in love with the culture. I went back like six more times after that, right.
Speaker 1:We kept missing each other, but we've definitely both been like hey when are you going to be there?
Speaker 1:So we miss each other a lot. So, yeah, no, that's true. You look up at the billboards and there are people that look like us because in America there's a white standard, and so that's what you see on billboards. And they're people that look like us because in America we have, you know they, there's a white standard, and so that's what you see on billboards. Even when you talk about travel and tourism, who do they promote it to? They're promoting to people that don't look like us, even though let's point out the fact that, um, black travel is a multimillionaire industry and we are definitely out there traveling so it's often weird that they're not.
Speaker 1:You know that we're not showcased, which I think is very interesting. Okay, so what's? What was your favorite food in ghana and what was your favorite experience?
Speaker 2:oh, the banku and tilapia. It gets me every time. There's this little old lady on the side of the road that just is out there grilling fish and it's absolutely amazing. I love it, experience it?
Speaker 1:Do you eat the whole head and the eyes, all of it?
Speaker 2:By the second, third trip. I eat the head, the eyeballs, all of it, All of it.
Speaker 1:It's delicious. Good job. Because I can't do it, I will let you have mine, oh I, and I will gladly take it.
Speaker 2:That's the thing I noticed on my first trip. All of us was giving our our fish heads to our god, and he was just gobbling around. He didn't even try to persuade us to eat it. I said, oh, it must be, it must be good, and I tried it and then I understood so, yes, I will, I will happily take the fish.
Speaker 1:Are you telling me that I should try it? Are you telling me that I should try it? I've never tried it.
Speaker 2:Maybe it's just a thought, but maybe if I can get that out of my head, I try to get that in the head first, because, like the cheeks, it's very meaty, it's just like the body. So you can kind of, you know, dip your toe in like that before you, you know, you get to chomping on eyeballs.
Speaker 1:If I do it, I'm going to think about you.
Speaker 2:So I, just I eat everything everywhere I go. I'm going to try the iguana, I've tried horse ostrich whales, all of it.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, I've only tried raccoon. I think that's the most adventurous and raccoon was actually delicious. It was in Texas and he was like you want some my cousin's? Like you want some coon? I was like what is coon? It was like coon, I was like, and he was like it's raccoon. I was like he was like just try it. And when I tell you, it tasted like some shredded beef, like somebody has slow cooked it. It was delicious. So you can't knock it till you try. I guess once you get whatever, it is out of your head and that it's meat, then yeah, so I can understand it even though I haven't tried those other things.
Speaker 1:Did you try the whale in Iceland? I did. Where'd you try the whale at? Okay, okay. And then your favorite experience.
Speaker 2:Oh, there are so many, it's so hard to narrow it down because I've been so many times and had so many different experiences. I've taken friends with me several times, I've gone for conferences, I've gone, you know, it's just been. I'm going to say that this I did a cruise on the Volta River. That was absolutely divine and it was just one of those things you look up and you're like is this my life? Like what is what is going on right now? It was absolutely beautiful. I think also just random adventures, driving through the mountains with new friends that I met, you know, just learning and interacting with people and hearing their life stories. There were just it's a lot of the connections that I made. I would definitely say that that would be the best thing, because every time I I have, I see old friends and I meet new friends, and the people of Ghana are unmatched.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I definitely feel the same way. I had even said OK, you know, I need to explore other countries, I'm not going back. And here we are. I can't stop going, we'll be. We were there in January for a group trip. Be back for September for a group trip, be back in December. So if anybody wants to join us, shameless plug, we'll be there for December, bringing in the new year. So check us out if you're interested in going. Okay, enough about Ghana, let's continue with your story. People were telling you that you should be a travel blogger and you were kind of not. You know, you didn't know if you should do it or not. So where are we at from there?
Speaker 2:So um so, after I finished my PhD, covid hit and I was working. I was teaching full-time, I had a part-time teaching job, I had a consulting job and I had I was working with an. I was working a lot, so I saved up some money you were working at were you a professor at Temple?
Speaker 2:I was at Stockton University, so I did my PhD at Temple and I taught there while I was going there and then I got a job at Stockton in New Jersey and and so I decided to take an adult gap year. And so I decided to take an adult gap year and take a year off, because, you know, I was going through it, being an extrovert, locked up all that time and I was like I just need, I need to get out, I need to travel, and so I did that, and this time I had those people that don't know what a gap year is adult or college Tell them what the gap year means.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I took a year off and didn't work, wasn't going to school, wasn't working, was just free. It was like an early retirement and it was absolutely wonderful. So most people do it in between high school and college. They just take some time off and backpack or, you know, get to find themselves. And doing it as an adult was very rewarding. And you know just, I just kind of made a plan and saved up and, you know, knew this is how much I need to cover my expenses for a year, and I traveled and I relaxed and I got to know myself better, and so it was during that time that I had- which places did you travel during your gap year?
Speaker 1:And I think that's important y'all she saved up, so don't just call yourself taking time off and you don't know where your next paycheck is coming from. Okay, don't do that.
Speaker 1:Don't go out there get no credit card and be like, oh, I can just swipe, do not do that. Y'all heard it. She said that she saved up and planned and I'm assuming you did it based off of your previous year's expenses, to know how much you needed to save. Right, right, right, yep, okay, okay. So tell us, where did you travel to during that particular year?
Speaker 2:um so, I was going to. I did a lot of domestic trips. I was going to, um, I did a lot of domestic trips. I was going to a lot of festivals. I was going um all over the place Miami, vegas and all the things that people you know, real travelers poo poo on. But I also, um, went to Senegal, uh, gambia, uh, Haiti and Antigua during that time.
Speaker 1:Well, except for Senegal and Gambia. We did Senegal and Gambia on a cruise, so we just got back. It was an African cruise in November, december, with Herda Gruten. Who was that crew? Herda Gruten, yes.
Speaker 2:Oh, I went with them to.
Speaker 1:Ecuador.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know that you had went with them and I heard about the Senegal trip.
Speaker 1:Yep, I think you guys went to Ecuador before we did and I think we went after you all. So I really enjoyed the experience. The only thing was it got cut short because of Guinea Bazaar. They actually had a coup at the time so we could not enter Guinea Bazaar, but we did go to Cape Verde, senegal and the Gambia, so it was a really great trip. Yeah, the only thing about Senegal is I don't speak French. I don't know if you speak French, but it was a very, very difficult for me and I was like, oh my God, that's probably why I go to Ghana a lot, cause I'm like, even if there's a cultural, you know, or different things like that, at least I can understand what they're saying. But Senegal, I know we, that's about all. So it was. Yeah, that was very hard for me, but I know Gambia is English speaking, so out of those four, and in Haiti they speak French too.
Speaker 2:So how did you navigate the French speaking countries. So both times I booked guides and that is what really changed my trip around, because I would have been very lost and I know other people that had that experience. So when I went to Haiti, I went with Haitian Nomad, who's a fellow Nomadness tribe member, and so that was unmatched. Most of the people on the trip were Haitian American. They all spoke Creole. We were in a group, so we navigated very easily. Everything was planned. We had the time of our lives. The food and the nightlife in Haiti is absolutely top tier, and the same thing in Senegal. I reached out to a tribe friend and she connected me with a guide who spoke English. I also ended up meeting a little boo in Senegal, so that was helpful as well, and you know, just as long as you got somebody to translate, you are good to go.
Speaker 1:Exactly, exactly. So out of those four that you mentioned in your gap year, do you have a ranking order first, second, third or fourth that you enjoyed? I I guess by the experience, or I guess, yeah, so I think that, um Haiti was.
Speaker 2:They were all amazing. I think Haiti would have to be top. Um, just like the food was amazing. It was black history everywhere. We were getting like deep into and that's that's, you know, my heart right there, the the Haitian revolution. We're seeing these sacred sites where it was started and just learning about the people. We had some luxury hotel experiences. So that was just a fabulous trip. The Gambia I really enjoyed. I was only there for two days and I wish I could have extended it, but I stayed at a fabulous beachside resort. It was $120 a night. I had a swim up room. I had like. The pool was beautiful. There were cocktails, food Like. I was like people don't know that things like this exist in tiny countries like Gambia, so that was something that I wasn't expecting and it was absolutely wonderful.
Speaker 1:Did you go to Kunta Kinte Island as well?
Speaker 2:while you were there I did. I did get a chance to go there. That was an amazing experience. I met the docent there and we just had this like two hour conversation about African-American history and Ale Haley. That was just amazing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we did it. We did that one too, but we actually got a chance to meet some of Alex Haley's descendants as well, so that was really cool to meet some of the family. Unfortunately, in Senegal, my phone was stolen and my pictures were not backed up, so all of my content we're talking about travel content was gone, for I think it hadn't been backed up in eight months. So all of the trips that I'm telling you about, like, look exactly, look at your heart. When I tell you it was like somebody literally stuck a knife in my heart. If you guys are content creators, you know that your content is your life okay, in a sense right and you know that your phone is your life. So not only am I in a country where I cannot speak the language, I don't have a phone, I don't have my photos, I am just devastated. So I kind of ruined the trip.
Speaker 1:I guess I say I can't blame Senegal, but when things happen in a country, you're like I'm never going back to Senegal again. So I guess I may have to try it again, because this wonderful cruise I told you about, which was interesting, because it was a bunch of travel writers and although I have a blog. I'm, more of you know, creating content on Instagram, youtube, so that was going to be, from my perspective, right and I think it would have been really great because even on YouTube, I haven't seen a lot about her to group in, nor about African cruises, so I think it would have been great. So this is another thing if you guys are listening and you guys are in content creation, make sure you back up your phone because, technically, sometimes your content can be your livelihood, you know. So definitely that is a point Back everything up, triple check all of it, make sure that you do that. But yeah, so we went to the Gambia and, like I said, did you do the lion walk in Senegal?
Speaker 2:I did, I did and I did. The crocodile and the monkeys in Gambia Did you do those? No, I didn't do those. So what did? The crocodile and the monkeys in Gambia? Did you do those?
Speaker 1:No, I didn't do those. So what did you do with the crocodiles?
Speaker 2:Girl, it was a crocodile pool. You walk back there's a little museum. It's real nice. You learn all about Gambia, fighting in the world war and all this. You go back some more and there's a big pool with a hundred crocodiles and I was like did I miss the safety briefing? They didn't tell us anything, like there's a safety briefing with the lions. They were just like oh yeah, you know, just don't touch their heads and go ahead, take your pictures. So we were just out there killing with the crocodiles, taking pictures Like I'm sitting right on top of one not like sitting sitting, but crouched on top of one and um got my photos and then I got out. I was like I don't know how this works. You just respect the crocodiles and they respect us that.
Speaker 1:Well, I did that one, but it wasn't a pond, it was just one crocodile, but that was in ghana, so I don't know if you had did that one. But yeah, we were able to sit on some time, get our pictures, but they fed them a chicken before they, like long as they're fed before we, you know, get on top or take our pictures, then we're cool and I'm like, okay, we'll go ahead and feed them the chicken. But yeah, I would definitely love to go back to the Gambia to explore, since we were only there for a day. You know, know, a cruise is a little bit. You can't, you know, stay and explore like you would like, although on that cruise we did go to Cape Verde and we were there for four days, but we move from island to island and this is random.
Speaker 1:But yeah, if you guys ever go to Cape Verde for saying I don't know if you've ever been before, but when I tell you Cape Verde is a beautiful, it reminds you of well, actually it is comprised of islands. It doesn't look, I don't, and you've been to Africa, many countries and I say it like it doesn't remind me of Africa, if that makes sense. So you have to go see it to see exactly what I'm talking about when I say but Black Sand Beaches, the history, the culture, like, yeah, you definitely got to put on your list to go it's on there, um, because I was considering it on my second trip to Senegal to see if I could get over there.
Speaker 2:But I definitely will move it up now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay. So let's get back to the content creation. So now you're in content creator mode, but when did you start and when did your channel begin to take off, and what was that kind of pivot that you experienced? For those that? Are trying to grow their channels.
Speaker 2:So that's so basically, when I was doing my gap year, I had a lot more time and so I was posting a lot more, I was showing things and I was kind of starting to get creative with making reels and how I was shooting, and so people started noticing like, oh wow, your content's really getting good, this is great. And then, as I finished my gap year, I sort of transitioned into. I decided I wanted to be an entrepreneur. I was doing diversity, equity and inclusion consulting and then I would just do content just because I wanted to keep practicing, so around Philly I would talk about restaurants and events and things like that.
Speaker 2:And then folks started reaching out to me to, you know, invite me to things, and to ask me to do content. And it got to the point where I didn't, you know, I wasn't really marketing my consulting business because I was so busy doing content creating. And so I've kind of shifted so that now I'm like 80, 20 in content creation, just organically from folks reaching out to me and inviting me. So it's been wonderful, but the number one thing is to just do it, because that's how the opportunities came was by doing it and folks seeing you know what I could do what I enjoy doing and asking me to do more of it.
Speaker 1:I have a quick question. Uh, talking about DEI, I've been hearing things about DEI right now, um, and they haven't been so good. So tell us what DEI is and where was it, you know, when you started your consulting and where it is now like what is? What does that space look like now?
Speaker 2:Woo girl. So diversity, equity and inclusion is a field that really took off in 2020. After George Floyd's murder at the hands of police, there was a, you know, a sort of national uprising, and folks wanted to learn how to do better, and so people were. They were hiring for DEI, they were searching for people, high and low, and so, because I had a background in Black studies and I've been doing this work for 15 years, I was like, yes, I'm happy to do this. Stop asking random Black people that you know have lived experience but don't know how to teach y'all what you know and understand how racism works and oppression works. Stop bothering them and not paying them and instead hire somebody that knows what they're doing. And so it was great.
Speaker 2:And then, you know, there came the backlash, and so recently we've seen a massive repealing. There have been. They're taking DEI out of schools, out of universities, trying to withhold funding from people. So there's definitely been a sharp turn. In the industry, it's still necessary and still relevant and in certain spaces, people still see the value that it holds, but nationally, we're definitely seeing a very different trajectory.
Speaker 1:Yeah, when you talk about holding funds, there's Hello Alice that just recently got blocked from no-transcript. I've been seeing it everywhere and that begs me to think, like, were you guys ever really serious, or was this just something after we see national headlines of something happening? To me, if you're not willing to do something long-term and it was just when the situation happened but, mind you, this situation happens every day, all day. That was just televised and so that I think that is the problem is like again do you think that people were really serious or was it just a result, a knee-jerk result, of what happening at that particular time and due to social? Because if this was, if we didn't have social media like we do now, I don't even know if the story would have gotten out like it did.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that there's a large portion of the population that's kind of in the middle that was very well-meaning and had been largely unaware. That's one of the privileges of whiteness is that you're able to be oblivious to a lot of things that marginalized groups face. And so now they weren't, they were no longer unaware. It was in their face and you know people are speaking up massively, they're seeing it, and so you know these well-meaning people felt bad and wanted to do something to varying degrees, because some of them just said what can we do to make it look like we're doing something? We're ready to do the lip service, we're ready to give you a title, but no real power to make any real change. We just want to look politically correct.
Speaker 2:But then I think that what happened was this subsect of folks who did not want to see this happen at all, very adamantly against progress and change, got into power and started using that power strategically, and so we're seeing the effects of that today. We've been seeing it playing out in our Supreme Court. In a lot of the legislation that's been going out towards a variety of marginalized groups, including LGBTQ, black women, affirmative action, all of these sort of issues have just really been rolled back, largely due to the presidency of Barack Obama. Now we're seeing sort of a right wing backlash to that what people are calling a white lash, and so, you know, we kind of saw it coming. But that's where we're at now, so we just have to keep fighting.
Speaker 1:And the thing to me, that lesson just tells me that we have to be ready to pivot, right, because you were heavily doing something else and then there's a lot of you know stuff going around that, and so now you have had to pivot. And so I think, as content creators, things are ever changing with social media, with different things that are coming up, and so I think you have to be ready for that particular thing. And even the case we brought up COVID before we all had to pivot. If you were a travel content creator, what content were you creating during COVID? Because we could not travel. And that's another tip I have for content creators.
Speaker 1:People are always like oh, are you still in Ghana? Are you still in Benin? Are you? I just seen you were in Mexico. Probably not what I do as a content creator. I don't post everything.
Speaker 1:So, for example, I was in Ghana, benin and Togo, for I think I was there for about a month. That was in January. It is June. I am still posting content from that particular trip because I may not be traveling throughout the rest of the month. So if you're a content creator, do not post all of your stuff at one time and also you want to enjoy your trip, so you don't want to be constantly creating content while you're there. Enjoy the trip, come back home and do it later, and then my advice is to spread out your content. What do you think about that? How do you spread out your content? I noticed that you have a lot of events that are happening, like here and now, so yours may be a little bit different, but how do you navigate, I guess, content versus long term, or what we call green content, or the events that you're doing in person right then and there?
Speaker 2:Girl, I'm still trying to figure that out. It's a lot. Girl, I'm still trying to figure that out. It's a lot. I think that it's a lot easier with the travel content because you can always spread that out, you can repurpose it. You could take a whole bunch of clips from different trips and create something totally different, and so that's one thing that I still have content from my last trip that I need to put up, and that's always the struggle.
Speaker 2:And then, with things that I'm doing local that are more pressing, I have to have a calendar and a timeline and make sure that things are posted by a certain date, but still always holding on to that content. Because now I'm seeing since I've been doing this for a little while I'm seeing how useful things from last year are. Now that Juneteenth is coming around again, I'm getting a lot of people reaching out to me and I'm able to repurpose some of that content from last year to use it to promo things that are going on, that are coming up, and to get new contracts and get folks that's willing to pay me for this content. So, yes, yes to all of that.
Speaker 1:I think the other thing you talk about is repurpose. So for me I'll take like, let's say, I'll do a random video, right, maybe never use it for anything. And last night I was like scrolling, like okay, what can I post? And I saw this picture of me in Cancun. I don't drink alcohol, but it was one of the big drinks that you buy when you're in Vegas or Mexico, and so I'm just kind of like grooving to the music and I was like, okay, what can we do with this video? And so when we talk about alcohol, people are like I don't like to travel with people that don't drink alcohol and I'm like I have a good time all by myself. So that was my caption. The caption was when people say, oh, I don't want to travel with people that don't drink, and I'm like well, I have a good time by myself and you weren't invited anyway.
Speaker 1:So it's kind of like how can you make it funny or entertaining or a different story from another place? Because I've had that before where I think we were in, uh, colombia, and somebody was like, um, do you want, um, something to drink? And I was like no. And she was like, are you a recovering alcoholic? And I was like no, but if I was as a rude was like people come up with all kinds of crazy stuff and you're like what, why would you even say that? Yeah, I've never had enough alcohol to become an alcoholic, so that was funny. But that's just a point of repurposing that content, thinking about and you can also look at what like trending things that people are doing as well, and you can kind of put your own spin on stuff when it comes to the content creation. But you also mentioned a calendar. So do you have a calendar that you just say, hey, every day I'm going to post on Instagram, facebook, whatever the case is, what is your content calendar look like?
Speaker 2:So right now, it's just like my phone calendar and I just know like, okay, I did this campaign, I need to post it by this date, I'm filming this on this day, I need to edit it by this time, I need to send a draft and I need to post. So just trying to keep track of all those. But if you have like a specific app that works better, feel free, you know, to share the resource, because that's one of the that's just. It's one of those things that the more you know, the more you get into something like. I'm always developing or finding that there are all sorts of things that could make my life easier that I didn't know about, and so I love finding out about those.
Speaker 2:One of the things that's been a game changer. I'm going to show you guys this right. Here is this little light here. There are so many new content creators that don't know about these and they are so helpful for shooting anywhere. They're on TikTok, they're on Amazon. They're just a little LED light that you clip onto your phone and it really helps step your content up. So when I see things like that, I'm like, yes, let me get this and let me share.
Speaker 1:We're going to have to link it. So you're going to have to send me the link, the Amazon link, so that we get posted, so that people can order, because when you held it up that was a pretty bright light, especially if you're filming at night.
Speaker 1:Exactly. It's not as well, but I do want to talk about. You talk about contracts and you talk about money. Two things, I guess. One how do you feel like the industry is, I guess, compared to our I'm going to say our other counterparts in terms of money? This always begs the question like is other people getting paid more than I am, even within the content? So let's say you went on a trip, you know, with other content creators. Believe it or not, people are having different discussions and somebody's probably getting paid differently than what you are as well. So how do you navigate that? That's one question. And then the second question is how do you get the contracts, how do you get these brands to actually pay you and different things like that? Because we have a lot of brands say, hey, free product, and at this point in my life we're not doing free product, because if I can get paid X amount over here, you're going to have to pay me as well. So two questions on the floor, okay.
Speaker 2:So one yes, the disparity in pay for Black content creators is well-documented. It's even more exacerbated than it is in other industries. So we're seeing even wider gaps, because certain content creators do make a lot of money and most of the Black ones are not and are not seeing that, and so that is very well documented. You know there are folks like the Black Travel Alliance that are, you know, working to try to mitigate that and working to provide resources and, just, you know, trainings and conversations and help and workshops around that. I went to a really good one recently about negotiating contracts and what that looks like, so I would definitely recommend resources like that, what that looks like, so I would definitely recommend resources like that. Also, just transparency between content creators is absolutely key and I really appreciate my friends that do this. Like tell me how much they paid you so that I know if I'm not asking for enough money or if I know you know I have a baseline of where to even start my negotiations at. What was your second question?
Speaker 1:And I think that we gatekeep within each other as well. I'm not going to tell this story. I'll tell it to you offline, but I had a situation where clearly, something was going on behind the scenes and of course, I wasn't privy to it and it was I don't know if it was more. It was like why not me? Basically, why were other people getting something and I wasn't? You know a part of that? To get it as well.
Speaker 1:And, like you said, if, if our other counterpart is going to, why not almost speak up? I know people are kind of afraid, but like, hey, you know this person, you know, maybe they can get it as well. I think when you're strength in numbers, that works out well versus okay. Well, I'm just going to look out for me. You know what I'm saying and I think we're all in this together or trying to be, so it would be nice if we could get the same things. You know what I'm saying. So that was my first experience with it and I was like, well, I don't like this feeling, but okay, and so my second question was about how do you negotiate your contracts and how do you get people to pay you either just pay you or just pay you what your worth is. Do you feel like you're able to negotiate contracts because you have a higher following now, or what was the difference when your following was lower?
Speaker 2:Ooh, okay, that's a lot. So first, I'm gonna say that to what you were saying earlier when people are gatekeeping, that helps nobody but the brands that have all the money. That's the only person that that helps. When you don't want to share your pricing, when you don't want to share what a contract looks like, when you don't want to share a contact, an email address, so we're not helping ourselves and capitalism has kind of taught us, but it's not in our best interest to do this right. This is how these systems of oppression work. The same way that racism does not benefit the majority of white people, but they are taught that it will. They believe that somehow it will, and it really doesn't. It's hurting, um, everybody except the uber rich. Um, same thing with the content creators we got to share. So that's one thing that I am very open about and, as I'm learning more, I'm trying to be intentional about sharing with newer content creators, mentoring them, offering them opportunities, inviting them to different press events and things like that, letting them know. This is how you get on the PR person's email list.
Speaker 2:Secondly, how I got into, how I started being able to get contracts and negotiate and things like that was one by talking with other creators, finding the ones who are willing to share, and also I bought a masterclass.
Speaker 2:There are a ton of masterclasses out there, so it took me a long time because, especially during the pandemic, that was everybody's pivot. They had a masterclass, and so I looked for a long time and I did one through Sidewalker Daily. It was a media kit and more masterclass, and so it really helped me revamp my media kit. They went over how to find people. They had a pitching playbook how to pitch, because pitching is really key Sitting there waiting for things to come to you. Only so many is going to come and they're not going to be aligned. It's just I'm getting stuff from people with gummies and exercise bikes and political campaigns. That is not my niche, right, so I have to pitch to the ones that I know align with me, and so this course was really helpful in helping me to have the foundations that I needed to know. You know what I was doing and how to navigate through there, so definitely something that I would recommend.
Speaker 1:Have you ever used ads on your platform?
Speaker 2:You mean, like paid ads, to boost the content.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I have not. I haven't done it. I'm afraid that if I start that they're going to want me to keep doing it. So I have it. But I know a lot of people that do and for certain businesses it can be really helpful. I have a lot of friends in events or friends that are selling their own masterclass, that have used ads and it's been really beneficial to their business. So at one point I might have to revisit that. Is that something that you do?
Speaker 1:So I have two Instagram pages. I have the travel page and I have my books and stuff, or actually, technically, it's my company page, which is Hughes of Africa, and under Hughes of Africa is my group trips and my books, and so for that particular page, I have used the ads, and when the ads are on, it's working wonderful, and when they're not on, I definitely feel like there is some type of like shadow banning, because they're not showing it to as many people, because they want you to continuously use the ads. So I think you have to be. You know, like I said, it can work and it's for business, so, but I guess you have to be. You know, like I said, it can work and it's for business, so, but I guess you have to be cautious at the same time.
Speaker 1:So I'm afraid to use it for my travel page, because that has been the most organic page. So that is something to think about. But you know the options are definitely out there. So I'm glad to see that your channel grew organically. And how do you grow your channel? What was the thing that you felt like started it to make it?
Speaker 2:grow. So I think that one. I just really started being intentional about my editing and so, you know, I got the CapCut Pro. I started, you know, learning how to do transitions and just to make it look more polished, and then I started sharing.
Speaker 2:One of the things that I realized is that you need to put out content that is relatable and shareable, and so one of the biggest ways that I've seen growth is through using a call to action that tells people to save and to share, and it's really that simple and they do it.
Speaker 2:It's in all my captions. Every single one of my captions is going to say save and share, and when it's good content that I know people are interested in, they're going to do that. And then at the end of my videos I invite people to follow me and I let them know what kind of content I put out and they follow me. So it's really just been sort of organic growth that way, and I will say that it's a lot easier doing a lot of the local things that I do as opposed to the travel stuff, because there is a very specific market for travel, and so the fact that I kind of have some overlap helps to pull people in you know that direction as well, so it's always so I was like you're essentially like the go person for like Philly activities or kind of neighboring cities as well, and so I definitely think that is definitely a good way to grow, because people want to know what's going on in the city, what can I do, where can I go.
Speaker 1:And if you're that person, they're constantly, you know, looking at your page, like, hey, let me follow her and see what I'm doing this weekend. And then Christina also changes her hair. Her outfits are really cute, so I think all of that kind of goes together for these particular events. Ok, so any last words about content creation, and then we're going to go into dating, which everybody loves to talk about. So any last words for content creation or any advice?
Speaker 2:or any advice. I would just say that if you're a new content creator, find a mentor, find your tribe, get your people. I have people that some of them I haven't even met, but we've connected online and we share, we meet, we talk about what's working, we talk about you know any resources that we found that are helpful, and so that's the whole thing. Like we all know that we go further together.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and I always give the advice of, almost like an accountability partner Find somebody in your niche that you can go back and forth with, Like you said. Or if you have an issue with a brand, like, hey girl, what should I do? Tell me, how should I navigate this situation, Just somebody to bounce ideas off of. So I think that's definitely great advice to find those people that are in your niche and collaborate collaborate in partnership, because people always wanna collaborate upwards but it's like no who is right there with you that you can collaborate with as well. So I definitely think that's good advice.
Speaker 2:Okay, and even smaller platforms also. Sorry, there's a lag, just real quick. One of the things that I found was that a lot of smaller platforms have amazing engagement, and so it's not so much about how many followers you have, but what kind of engagement that you are getting, and so that's one of the things that I was doing. Even when my numbers weren't where they are now, my engagement was sometimes even higher, and that's the real selling part. That's the part that's important. So definitely looking to um collaborate with smaller creators as well and too, like you said, what does the influence look like?
Speaker 1:even if I only have x amount, because my instagram is not that huge at all, I think I only have like five thousand, right? Um, and I know christine has grown to, I think you how many people? You got now 40,000. Okay, so see, you're at 40,000. I'm 5,000. She's 40,000.
Speaker 1:But I have a lot of influence in my space. And remember, influence and money does not equate to your likes, right? I say this all the time I've got, and not even necessarily travel stuff, but I'm making the most money that I've ever made in my life. And I say, sometimes people want to grow fast on social media, but you have to remember that sometimes your social media leads to other opportunities. Social media leads to other opportunities. So I want people to remember that, yes, you can get money from social media. Don't get me wrong. We just talked about Dr Fia getting contracts and stuff like that. But remember that social media can be used in other ways as well. So make it work for you or for your niche and different things like that.
Speaker 1:But yeah, I've been around for years. I think people just know who I am and so that works in my favor, because if I post something about a hotel or Airbnb, somebody's coming back to me and telling me hey, I use your recommendation and that's what you call influence, and so you want that's information that you can go back and give to your brands and be like, hey, even if my numbers are this amount, I have proof that people are actually going to these places, which that's the whole thing. The brands want exposure so that their business grows as well, so keep that in mind, Okay. So let's transition into something else. So we're going to talk about dating. So tell me what your experience was. I know that you use the apps and different things like that, and I know you've had booze in different areas, so let's go ahead and talk about which apps that you use and how has that worked out for you in the various countries.
Speaker 2:So, as far as apps, the one I haven't used them recently, but the one that was my go-to was Tinder, and that was just, you know, I would land and I would turn it on and it was like a roulette wheel and see where the night took me. And you know, of course, being mindful to also be safe, um, in these spaces, um, I, individually, I, just as as a person, I feel a lot of times more safe in other countries than I do here. Um, so that's the first part, but just, you know, still maintaining common sense and letting people know where you're going and what you're doing. But I remember one time I was in Barbados. I want to say I think and that was actually my only solo trip, I've only done one solo trip just because I wanted to see what it was like. People always want to travel with me and I was like I keep hearing about the solo thing, so I want to do it, I want to try it, and it was fun, but not my preference.
Speaker 2:So I had swiped and met somebody and they were having like a party. So I was like, okay, I'm going to come out, I don't want to come by myself. So I actually put out a bat signal in no madness and found somebody else that was there. And found somebody else that was there, and so she ended up coming with me.
Speaker 2:We crashed this party and just had a blast, had the time of our lives, and she thought that he was a friend of a friend. She didn't know that it was somebody that I just swiped and met and he thought that she was my sister and he didn't know that I just met her that day. So I was just like you know what, I'm just trying to make sure that I'm safe. But we had so much fun and like I just it just really made the experience. That's one of the things that I really love is that meeting people and interacting with them on a personal level really makes the experience of traveling for me, whether it's platonic, whether it's romantic, whatever it is. So that's what I really love about it.
Speaker 1:So I'm glad you mentioned solo travel. So I'm a huge solo traveler. And then, of course, I said you also host group trips, right, so I'm glad that you took your solo trip. I say that everybody needs to take at least one solo trip. Try it out, see if you like it. Although you said you have fun, you prefer to travel with other people. But the point is you actually tried it and I'm glad that you had a good time, and that's the thing about traveling solo. I feel like you get to meet so many wonderful people.
Speaker 1:If you were with the group, you may not have met the young lady from Nomadness, because you already have your crew with you. You know what I'm saying. So I think solo travel allows you to meet more people which, contrary to what people believe, people think that you're always solo and you're always by yourself, and for me it's been the exact opposite, because I'm like, hey, girl, let's go out, what you want to do. And then that's another way. Like you said, you wanted to go out at nighttime and you didn't necessarily know this guy, so you still have some type of like you know, protection, sisterhood, whatever you know, and so that was cool. So I'm glad that you went out and had a good time, so tell me about what was one of your best. I guess dates abroad.
Speaker 2:Oh, oh man, Best dates abroad. I have a worst story. I'm going to hold on to that one because there was definitely a worst.
Speaker 1:You want to start with the worst.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let me start off with the worst, okay, um, there was the first time I went to Senegal. I went to, I stayed at the Radisson Blue, which is a gorgeous, gorgeous, luxury hotel. You've been there.
Speaker 1:I've never stayed, but I've seen it though.
Speaker 2:People hang out there like it's a vibe. And so I met this tall, dark, handsome, perfect teeth having gentleman. And so the next time I came he wanted to take me on a date. And so I'm like, ok, sure, and he, we had been talking, you know, in between this time and so he was. He was like, yeah, I want to take you on a date. I'm like, ok, where do you want to take me? And so he wanted to take me to this eco lodge in the desert, and I had been there before, on my last trip, but he really enjoyed this.
Speaker 2:This place is like out in the middle of nowhere, like you have to take. It's like two hours outside of the city, right, and it's not a straight. You don't just go buy a bus and get there. You have to use their shared transportation, book a car and speak Wolof or French, right. So I go out there. And then we get there and he's like telling me how much it's gonna cost, and I'm just like that sounds like a you problem, sir, you asked me on a date and you picked where we were going on the date.
Speaker 2:I had no input on this, so make a long story short, he was a little bit of a grifter. He wanted to hang out and have a good time, and he also thought that he was going to get some goodies, but absolutely not. And so, in that space, though, I realized that I wasn't as safe as I should have been, and things could have really gone left. So I definitely learned a lesson from that, because we were out in the middle of nowhere. If I decided that I was over this, I literally would not have known how to get back to the city.
Speaker 2:Luckily, I had a friend that I met before that worked there, and so I was in contact and let people know where I was at and what was going on. And, you know, let people know where I was at and what was going on, but I'm like I probably should have stayed in the city and not, you know, just gone off somewhere. Even though I knew him, I felt comfortable because we had been talking for a little while. You know, this was still our first date, and so you know it was just he was really trying it, and I was like, absolutely not. And you know we had a very uncomfortable the next day, and that was it.
Speaker 1:And that's the other thing too this is a side note. I also feel like guys when it comes to dating. I don't even think they understand that let's say whether or not you were going to give up the goodies or not. I think what guys don't understand is that before we even get to that point, there has to be a lot of stuff. Before we get to that point for women, I think guys are just ready to have sex, whereas women were like what is the buildup towards that? You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:And so him not even wanting to pay for the day, you're like already turned off. You know what I'm saying. And so advice to men before you get to that point, can we make sure that everything else is in a row, and maybe we'll think about it. We could say yes or no, but that would probably help. I'm pretty sure you were definitely turned off when he was like so you know about the cost and the price. You're like if you invited me on a date, then you're supposed to pay. And so that's the other thing about international dating too. We have to. I guess sometimes we assume things like. We assume, like you know, in America, like okay, the guy's going to pay, but in different countries we may have to ask that question. So are you paying like directly right out, so we can?
Speaker 2:discover what the situation is. You know how that and that's the thing like in America. I might have asked, or I might not have been surprised at a 50-50. What African man is taking you on a date and asking you to pay or split the date? That's not a thing, that is not cultural at all. And he tried to say that. I said, sir, absolutely not. You know this too.
Speaker 1:And sometimes I think that, of course, I feel like sometimes they treat us differently as African-Americans versus, if it were, you know somebody from, or so was a Senegalese woman. So there are different nuances that you have to pay attention to when you talk about cultural dating. Okay, so did you have your best? Did you have your best date in Miami?
Speaker 2:Yes, so there's a few. So I'm going to say so this is a little bit messy. So the first time I was in Senegal, when I was at that same place in the desert, right, they were showing us like the Senegalese have this tea ceremony. It's beautiful, they're like pouring the tea, it's a whole thing. And so the guy that was doing it, he was just so sweet and he was so kind, and so we just talked and had this conversation, and so he asked me if afterwards, if I wanted to go for a walk in the desert, and so I was like okay, and so he made us some drinks and like had a little spread.
Speaker 2:We went out up on the dunes in the desert, it was pitch black, the stars looked amazing, and we just had the most beautiful, beautiful conversation and really just sort of bonded that night and it was just one of those once in a lifetime opportunities that was absolutely beautiful. So when old dude did what he did, I called my friend up and I said, listen, I'm in town, what you doing? And so I just took my little self over and went and saw him, and your buddy was a little upset about that, but you know, oh well, that's the thing about consent, like it can be revoked Just as easily as it is given, and that's the important things that men need to understand and respect.
Speaker 1:That is a very, very true, but that's funny how you dipped out on him. But you're right. Like if you were right in the beginning then maybe I wouldn't even had to do that. So that is hilarious. Okay, so let's move over to where we're going. We're headed back to Ghana again. So tell us about when I was in ghana, um, at labadi beach, there was this man right now. If you've been to ghana, then you know labadi. He's like that's the hangout really good food, everybody's there just having a good time. So go to LaBody Beach if you've never been yes, yes, especially on a Sunday.
Speaker 2:Uh, everybody's gonna be. There is the place to see and be seen. And um, uh, yeah, so this man's jogging by. Um, well, first his brother was jogging by, his brother went and got him, and then they jogged back by again. They both had eight packs, like it was rippling the sun was rippling off of their bodies, and they invited us to the club that night. And so, long story short, we ended up being in a relationship while I was there for my study abroad, and then how there, for it was for the summer.
Speaker 2:So it was like two, three months, Um so, subsequent trips. You know, in my mind he was just, you know, my boyfriend in Ghana and that was it it. He wanted something a little bit more serious and so he ended up proposing to me and I said yes, and at this point I realized that, you know, I don't know this man well enough, but I do like him and I know that he is a good person, I know that he is decent and he's kind, and that has not been my experience thus far with folks that I've dated and so we ended up doing the whole 90 day fiance thing and he came and we got married and let me pause.
Speaker 1:The wedding was beautiful y'all.
Speaker 2:And let me pause the wedding was a beautiful y'all.
Speaker 2:It was. It was really nice. I found this gorgeous dress and had some Ankara custom sewn onto it, went back to Ghana to get all of my cloth for my bridesmaids and we had such a wonderful time and it was a really hard adjustment. And so one of the things that I was really clear on was that you know, I'm going to give it everything that I have, but if it doesn't work out, I'm not going to hold on to this. And so we've parted ways. We're still friends, we still, you know, talk here and there, but ultimately it just didn't work out.
Speaker 2:But it was an experience that I feel like was necessary for me and my growth and development and so really just helped me to learn more about myself and what I'm looking for in a partner, more about myself and what I'm looking for in a partner. And again, it's really it's the, it's the US immigration's fault because, like I said, you know I didn't have that, the way that these visa laws work, like I couldn't just have him come here and date for a while, like it was, either you get married or you don't, and so you know I had to take that gamble you get married or you don't, and so you know I had to take that gamble, um, and that's the way it should be.
Speaker 1:That's an interesting piece that you bring up about the laws. And yeah, it's the 90 day fiance, so you have to get married within 90 days, and 90 days is not enough to know anybody. And when you're usually when you're in ghana you spend you actually spent three months there, but normally people are in and out, they're not spinning, so you even had a chance to spend time, a little more time with him than somebody normally would. But that proposes a good thing because, let's say, I'm there for a week or two, I come back home and we have this relationship via the phone and different things like that.
Speaker 1:It is so much different once you're actually here. It is an adjustment for the person that's coming here, you as an American, and then now you're trying to live under one household, to have this marriage. You know what I'm saying, and so that issue didn't really think about it from that perspective. But, yeah, I wish that there was the opportunity for it to be a longer term thing, because then maybe you will see less marriages dissolve. So do you feel like, if you have more time to spend with him, that you would have ultimately said no.
Speaker 2:I think that I would have realized that we weren't quite as aligned. So there were several things like so I did. You know, I made several trips. I was very cognizant. I was like, listen, when I'm here, I'm on vacation mode, we're having a good time, we're chilling. This is not normal life. We're not having to deal with bills and with, you know, real life issues at all. You know, splitting household responsibility. We're not having to deal with any of that. So this is not a good representative of what living life together would be like.
Speaker 2:So I was very aware of that and, you know, just kind of made a mental note that you know, this is something that I gotta kind of figure out. And then also we had a religious difference, cause he was Muslim and I was Christian, so we didn't have marriage counseling, which I really wanted to do. We found a little book and like it was like all these questions that you're supposed to ask before you get married. And that was my first clue that I was like, ooh, ok, we got, there's a few things here, now that we go. It was like 300 questions in the book, like now that we've gone through this, there's going to be some challenges. Let's see how it shakes out.
Speaker 2:But you know it's always something you never know. You can never be 100 percent sure. I have a friend right now who's going through the process and you know she's excited. She's talked to me about my experience and I'm excited for her. I think that you know it can work. I've seen it work before. There are definitely a lot of challenges, so I've seen it not work as well and as long as you take care of yourself and keep yourself in a healthy space when you're going to be okay, go for it.
Speaker 1:Right, and that's the thing. Relationships are a toss-up, right. So whether or not they're coming from a different country or they're right here in America, we see both sides of the coin, right. We see where our divorce rate in America is super high, right. Then we see on the opposite end where there may be a situation and it's a foreigner. So, honestly, you never know, and I think sometimes you just have to take a chance on love and, like you, you said if it works out, it works out, and if it doesn't, it doesn't it. Um, so, being that this happened once, I guess, are you still open to dating outside of the country and would you say yes again if it ever came?
Speaker 2:up. So funny that you asked that. Actually, yes, I, um, I was in another relationship after that. Um, I met somebody in Senegal, um, a different person than the ones I told you about, and um, we um, listen, I was anyway um.
Speaker 1:You had a lot of stories from Senegal. Wait, how many?
Speaker 2:times were you in.
Speaker 1:Senegal.
Speaker 2:Twice.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:So yeah, so I ended up meeting somebody and we had an absolutely beautiful relationship, like we connected on such a deeper level than I ever did with my ex-husband. We would have the most amazing conversations, we had so much chemistry. But I realized that we were not compatible and I knew the difference between the two because I had that experience and so I knew what questions to ask, I knew you know sort of what things to look out for and ultimately we just kind of wanted different things and were in some different places in life and so we ended up making the mutual decision to let the relationship go. But it was like it was a once in a lifetime. I would never, I wouldn't change it for anything. And so having that you know, that experience from my past and having that knowledge and being able to see that, I think really was very, very helpful. So of course, yes, I would continue to just take the lessons that I've learned and continue to navigate and continue to do better and have better.
Speaker 1:And two, I guess it begs the question that sometimes we have to let things go in order to move forward, and so this experience was even better than the last experience and so you hope the next time that it's even better than that last experience. So you just kind of continue to grow within these particular relationships, and so I think that's important to let people know that, as I guess African-American solo travelers are within a group, that it is okay to go out there and date and, like you said, having those conversations, what ultimately do we want? Do I want kids and you don't? Are we of a different religion? Can we make it work? You have some people that make it work and you have some people that it just doesn't like, especially if maybe religion is a huge part of your life you know what I'm saying and this person believes something else or you know, it just may not work out.
Speaker 1:But having those questions before you move further is very important. So I'm glad that you were able to kind of, like you said, discover those things, but I do think that we can also have amazing relationships without stuff being long-term. So I know we don't want to hear that, but it's like seasons, friends, relationships change and I think that's the hard part, because sometimes we hold on to stuff longer than we should Because, like you said, it was amazing. Like that feeling of being amazing and being able to talk and have conversations like that is a wonderful feeling, and so you want to hold on to that as long as possible, but when do we decide to let go, you know? And so I think that's very important when it comes to dating and relationships.
Speaker 1:So this has been a wonderful conversation, but before we get out of here, what is your last piece of advice about dating abroad? And two, while you're closing this out, tell us about did you see a lot of cultural differences? Because we may look the same, right African-American, but we are from the diaspora and they are from the continent, and I don't know if you've dated people outside of, I guess, the continent or other places, but did you see a lot of cultural differences and, if so, what were some of those? And then, last advice that you want to give to people. Sorry, I have such loaded questions, christine.
Speaker 2:There were so many cultural differences. There were so many cultural differences. I would just learn new ones all the time, even as somebody that you know was really familiar more than most African Americans. I would say because of my academic background, because of all of my travels, was much more familiar than most African Americans, but there were so many different things that we, just living in a house together, did things different. Some of them were funny, some of them were cute, some of them there weren't any that were really caused too many issues, but it was just, you know, a learning.
Speaker 2:It was definitely a big learning curve and I got to the point where I was like this would be so much easier if I was dating an American, like that is just one big piece that you add to a relationship. You know that I hadn't had to navigate beforehand, but it was also beautiful in some ways. You know learning different things and just make sure that y'all get one that can cook, because mine couldn't that, because mine couldn't. That was the no-no right there. Don't get one that can't cook.
Speaker 1:Some of these guys know how to cook very, very well, and that's going to be good.
Speaker 2:If you ain't got to worry about cooking yes, get you one that knows how to cook, because the food is amazing and you don't want, because this man was sitting here about to starve, because I didn't know how to make what he wanted.
Speaker 1:So if you don't know how to make it and I don't know how to make it, I don't know what's gonna happen when some african men are not as open to trying other foods. They want their food, right. You have some that are very open, but then you have some that are like no, where's my fufu, where's my, you know, jollof rice, where's my bengku? All these type of things. So I never really thought about it like that. But now that you say that, yes, it would be nice if they knew how to cook, because the food is good.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, I would just say in closing, one of the things that I hear a lot of people saying, you know and I'm sure you've heard this as well is that you know you got to watch out because they just want a green card. I was trying to get his passport off, so that was a good thing, because I traveled Africa a lot, not having to have that to get those visas would have been very helpful.
Speaker 1:So that's a good point. And I say that's a good point because I literally released the YouTube video yesterday about crossing borders, and crossing borders is ridiculous and, like you said, getting a visa for every country. That if it's just literally driving across the border and there's a headache with the the border and the visa, and all of this kind of stuff, yeah, so that I did that total border crossing.
Speaker 2:I know exactly what you're talking about I.
Speaker 1:I was like what is going on? I end up paying, have to pay extra. So check that video so y'all can hear my stories about what happened at the border and we not only have issues.
Speaker 2:I got my laptop stolen at the border.
Speaker 1:You had your laptop stolen.
Speaker 2:By the police.
Speaker 1:Wait, how did that?
Speaker 2:Wait, okay, it was a long story, but anyway. See, now that would piss me. Wait, wait, okay, it was a long story, but anyway now, that would piss me off, mind you.
Speaker 1:I was mad about my phone selling, but you have authorities that are still oh lord, that's okay. That's the story for another day.
Speaker 2:We've already been on here for a long time, yeah um, whatever you do, watch your bags, even with with the police, keep your valuables in eyesight and you'll be okay. But yeah, I think that when we're interacting with people that are outside of our country, outside of our nationality, I think that it's definitely. I think it's definitely attractive that we're American, and so sometimes it's hard to navigate that like am I being fetishized, am I, you know this or that? But I think that I take that with a grain of salt, in the same way that certain things are attractive to me, there are certain accents that are real attractive, there are certain heights and certain complexions and certain things, and so we all have these things that make people more attractive.
Speaker 2:You know, if I'm meeting twin brothers and one of them is a CEO of a Fortune 500 company and one of them is the maintenance man, I might be more attracted to the one, right, because it just makes life easier and it's one less thing you have to worry about. So I think that there's this narrative that pushes that that's all that people want, and that's absolutely not the case. It can make you more attractive, it can make you not as attractive, but again, discernment is the key and everything that you do always just use discernment.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. This conversation has been great and we could probably be on here for another couple of hours just talking about different aspects, but we know people's attention spans are short, so we are going to let it go, but before we go, christina, tell people where they can find you, where they can follow you, or what do you have coming up next?
Speaker 2:follow you or what do you have coming up next? So I am, my primary platform is Instagram, and you'll find me there at drafia underscore abroad, and that's at Dr Afiya abroad. I have a Egypt trip coming up in November that folks are welcome to join, and I'm always posting fun things to do all over the United States as well. I have a festival list coming up that people love, so please look out for that. And if you're on Facebook, I'm Christina Afia Harris.
Speaker 1:All right, thank you, christina. Before we get out of here, I've already mentioned we have a group trip to Ghana in December for Daddy December. We also have a trip coming up to Egypt as well, november 1st through the 8th. So definitely check out any of those trips. And we also have books, hues of Africa, where you can learn more about the continent, and we have a book about HBCUs. So I hope you've enjoyed this conversation and we'll talk to you soon. Peace.